> -----Original Message----- > From: Scott Stewart [mailto:sstwebwo...@bellsouth.net] > Sent: Friday, December 04, 2009 9:34 AM > To: cf-community > Subject: Dads... need some advice (non political) > > > I know there's some seriously good dads on this list, I need some > advice > (wisdom). As much as we didn't want to we've had to put our daughter > into > daycare, we can't afford to live on one salary, so my wife has to work. > > My daughter is only 3 months old, and I don't think she has any concept > of > what's going on. > > > > I want to be a better (read: more involved) father than my dad was, > What do > you guys do to make sure that the time that you do get to spend with > your > kids the best quality time it can be?
It's probably not the best thing - some might even say it's bad, but I've always made sure that my "office" was in the main area of the house (I'm lucky enough to be able work from home regularly). Especially in the past year with a major reorg at the office I've been putting in more and more hours. I spend way too much time on conference calls (Saturday I was on for over 10 hours and last weekend I put in over 40 hour between Fri and Sun.) and this can be hard. We do have a spare room that I could use as a closed office, but having come to terms that - like it or not - I spend way too much time at the desk we've always made sure that the desk is central in the home. I'm near the TV and the dining table - so while my daughter is drawing or playing games or whatever I may not be engaged directly but I'm around. She can pop up and say "look at this!" and I can or get a Trophy in "LittleBigPlanet" and I'm there to see. Would I rather be spending "quality time" dedicated to the kids? Sure. But if given the choice between no interaction and some I'll take some every time. It's not remotely perfect and I'm positive there's been moments where they've felt in competition with the job. But that's where I have to work to ensure they never feel that they're losing that competition. I've taken to specifically showing them that I'm turning off my phone during my son's basketball games and my daughter's dance rehearsals as a small token that this, at least, is their time. Lately - with Christmas coming - I've been spending a lot of time in my basement (building a set of shelves for my daughter's room) so just recently we took the plunge and bought a ping pong table (too big, too heavy but why not?) and now most of the time it's me and my son going down there - he practices bounce-back play and work on the shelves. We're not doing the same thing but we're together and we're talking. I take a lot of breaks to play with him for a bit and call him away to learn something or other about what I'm doing. Other than that I can only offer the clichés. Be attentive. Try to set aside some specific time for just family (before this job we always did a family movie night on Saturday but I've been working nearly every weekend for what seems like months). Show interest in what THEY show interest in, etc. It ain't Ozzie and Harriet... but then again nothing ever really was. Jim Davis ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Want to reach the ColdFusion community with something they want? Let them know on the House of Fusion mailing lists Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/message.cfm/messageid:309198 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
