These policies of cramming the most people into one airplane are getting out of hand...
Dallas, TX - Feeling what can only be described as "invincible" Southwest Airlines has instituted yet another controversial policy this morning. Alexandra Jones, spokeswoman for SWA, held a press conference at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport announcing the airline's new policy. "It has been our experience that midgets are taking up entirely too little space that could be re-sold to actually double our profits. I mean, you can't expect to be 4 feet tall and take up an entire seat on one of our planes, it's just not feasable, not to mention a total waste of space." "During pre-flight instructions, all midgets on board the plane will be gassed and stored in the overhead compartments and their seats resold." Jones told a slackjawed press corp. "We have instructed all of our flight attendents to lure the little people into a false sense of security by pretending to show them how the oxygen masks work. When they have the mask securely in place, a mild barbituate is released leaving the dwarves unconscious for 5-10 hours." Jones said. "Our goal is to provide the most comfortable flying experience possible, whether it be in a seat or an overhead bin." This of course was not the first "insensitive" policy instituted by SWA. Last week Southwest Airlines announced a controversial new policy requiring severely obese people to purchase two tickets in order to fly. This announcement sent shockwaves through the some of the largest people in America. Reaction by fat people across the country was nearly immediate. After finishing dinner large numbers of large people lumbered their way to the nearest snack shop to discuss ways to protest what they considered unfair prejudice. The meeting was cut short however when a shuttle bus to Ponderosa passed by. The ACLU has said they are looking into the new policies. http://www.angryfinger.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=118 ______________________________________________________________________ Get the mailserver that powers this list at http://www.coolfusion.com Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/cf-community@houseoffusion.com/ Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
