Dear Abby,

    My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The
    other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be
    able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it
    turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big
    f_cking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
    he'll buy me a diamond.

    Sincerely,
    Bitchy in Boston
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