Comcast "give us 3 hours of your time and we will tell you it's your own
f***ing fault no matter what" Technical Support Authority. After they
threatened to ship me off to a camp for providing conclusive evidence
there was a problem with their DNS server, I decided it was time for
something new.
And something new is finally here! Phonom 8mbps DSL and VoIP with free
long distance nationwide and to Canada (Mexico coming for free too after
the burro gets there with the bribe money). The cable modem and the
voice converter box came today, both are brand new and look kinda sexy.
I can't hook them up for a couple more hours, but that's not stopping me
from putting them on my desk to fight for which is the cooler new piece
of technology. Currently, the sleeker black voice box and the yellow
patch cables (the allies) have dominance over the right side of my desk
and hold major portions of the coffee cup and a speaker. The more
forceful DSL modem with his array of menacing LEDs has seized areas
around the monitor and is threatening to cut off supply lines to the
keyboard and mouse unless he receives some ethernet cables, a business
card and a bottle of Asprin as concessions. There is some talk that the
Cisco 7960 series VoIP phone will enter the conflict, but he seems too
distracted by his own LCD screen to care much about things so far across
the stapler.
Anyways, in anticipation of putting this thing online tonight, I called
technical support to complain I don't know their policies on half-life
servers or spamming and am too lazy to RTFTOS. I was told that, except
for excessive call forwarding and fax blasting, I can do whatever I
freakin' want. "VPN?" I asked. "Sure." "Ceaseless port scanning of
military facilities?" "No problem." "Host off-color content on a
personal Web site?" "Whatever, just remember your upstream rate is 972
baud." "Uncap the modem and fix that little upstream rate problem?" "Try
it and you will be reported to the Comcast Technical Support Authority
who will harshly deal with your insolence."
This rules. Anwyays, since I am so excited about this new setup, I
wanted to tell everyone to take advantage of the fact I am selling
targeted mass mailings to key demographics at the price of $30 per
100,000 recipients. This service will go online tonight around 9 pm.
M
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