I was born in the US.
I think I'm different from a lot of Americans and Asians because I was
born with ADD and severe depression and have been fighting it all my life.
But I still think of myself as Asian.
Once you have been at that depth of pain,your existence seems to just
transgress everything human. I kept on going in school &have got a ME,
BSEE and MSEE , CNE, MSCE and CCNA.
Anyway last week I finished 4th in a Triathlon. Once you have been at the
level of pain that ADD and depression can cause, the Triathlon doesnt hurt
too much.
I try to work hard not so I can buy a big Mercedes or a huge house. I
think work is the main thing that keeps me going. I do have a Mercedes but
its an old one I rebuilt froma junkyard.I have a house but I rebuilt it from
scrap/
Anyway to be deep, there is something about our existence here much deeper
than being Asian.
Its our search for the meaning of existence here, and its about our
wondering why we walk this way, and smiling when deep down everything inside
is beaten. Its about being proud when your very existence defines itself as
neurological signals telling you bad things about yourself because of
depression. Its about feeling unbeaten when evrything inside you wishes you
could lay down.
And its about hope, that tomorrow this horrible fog will vanish and I walk
as other humans do. I realize I have missd much of the human experience--but
just to ber here in America is the biggest miracle of my life.
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