TL;DR: Nightcode, a Clojure IDE, just got a makeover: https://sekao.net/nightcode/
In a world...where developer tools are gargantuan beasts, unapproachable to beginners, one IDE stood alone. *a fiddle softly plays ashokan farewell* “You’re not going already, are you, Nightcode?” “I must, father. So many new people are learning Clojure. They need me.” *music becomes ominous as Nightcode rides a wagon into the distance* Until one day, when it embarked on a journey to save the world...from itself. *scene switches to Nightcode crouching in a fetal position in a dense forest* “I’m hearing voices.” *heavy breathing* “STOP TALKING TO ME!” *one of those jumanji drums starts beating slowly and then gets faster and louder* *the camera zooms in on Nightcode’s face as it suddenly smiles wryly* Things are about to get...complicated. *scene changes, a crowd gathers in a small village* “Gather ‘round! I’m making it easy to start coding!” “But Nightcode, those appear to be bugs!” “Wrong, ma’am, they are features! All of them!” “SILENCE!” *the crowd becomes mute as a hooded figure moves forward* “Enough of this madness, Nightcode. In three years your features have remained dormant as your bug count has exploded! Meanwhile, people have been using --” “Don’t listen to this fraud, you all need me!!!!” *Nightcode lifts its trench coat and releases a plague of bugs on the village as it runs away* “I don’t want to crash but I will if I have to. I don’t want to crash but I will if I have to. I don’t want to crash but I will if I have to. STOP THE VOICES, MAKE IT STOP!” When your life is no longer your own... *screen dims, Nightcode runs into a forest as the village is ravaged* ...a hero must rise. *the hooded figure reveals himself* Meet...Kevin. *Kevin Hart smiles as upbeat music blares* “HEEEEEY Y’ALL THAT WAS CRAZY! I guess it’s a bad time to ask for a better hotel. HAHA!” Kevin is just an average guy, with a few...friends. *the camera pans several feet up to reveal...Ice Cube and Dwayne Johnson* “This is gonna be bad, Cube.” “I know, man. How did we get stuck with this guy again?” A brave trio must save the world from Nightcode...by reinventing it. “Check it. Nightcode can’t be killed. We gotta find the good inside it and rip it out!” “YEAH CUBE I AGREE. JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH YOUR CAREER!” *Cube slaps Hart and continues* “There’s only one way to do that. We gotta rewrite Nightcode.” “You mean like a sequel? Like we keep doing with Fast and the Furious? No way.” “YEAH CUBE, JOEL SPOLSKY SAID YOU SHOULD NEVER --” “Dammit I KNOW what Joel Spolsky said, and I don’t care. You guys got any better ideas?” *Hart and Johnson look at each other sheepishly* *scene switches to a workshop with maps and shit* “Nightcode is written with Swing, a deprecated UI framework. We’re gonna replace it with Java FX. What do you got Rock?” “The editor. Right now it doesn’t offer much beyond syntax highlighting. We’re gonna have to write something from scratch.” “AWW HELL YEAH, GONNA BE LIKE LIGHT TABLE HAD A BABY WITH CURSIVE, HAHAAAAAA!” “What? No. Relax Kev. An instaREPL and some basic inline errors, that’s all we have time for.” The trio will learn… *Hart looks in a mirror* “Oh hey Nightcode, what’s up? CAN YOU DEAL WITH THESE RAINBOW PARENS?! Didn’t think so.” ...what it’s like… *Cube emerges from the workshop covered in oil* “We shrunk the damn jar file from 50 MB to just 19!” ...to overcome odds. “The new version has just 1600 lines of code, less than half what the old one has. We may actually pull this off.” This summer, get ready… “WATCH ME MOVE. WATCH ME MOVE. WATCH ME -- hey man take it easy put that down be cool.” ...for the rewrite… “I’m sick of these motherfuckin’ bugs, on this motherfuckin’ IDE!” ...of your life. “We’re gonna get this done or die tryin’. And Kevin IF YOU DON’T STOP DANCING YOU’LL DIE NO MATTER WHAT.” *a door opens as the trio argue, music stops, and Nightcode’s silhouette appears* “Game over, gents. How can you replace me? Beginners don’t know how to run jar files.” “We built native installers, fool.” *explosions* NIGHTCODE 2 TOTAL REWRITE https://sekao.net/nightcode/ -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Clojure" group. To post to this group, send email to clojure@googlegroups.com Note that posts from new members are moderated - please be patient with your first post. To unsubscribe from this group, send email to clojure+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/clojure?hl=en --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Clojure" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to clojure+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
