you wrote:
Corn cobs?  Do we get to hear that story?  I presume it involves large
quantities of tequila or rum?

Actually it involves Homesteading when Iowa was the Wild Wild West. see: <http://nobodys-perfect.com/vtpm/exhibithall/informational/tphistory.html>

Although, actually, toilet paper is a recent invention so even my Grandfather made jokes about corn cobs. Just google 'invention of toilet paper' and you'll spend endless hours in mindless wonder. No wonder that European women smell funny. (I was recently put in my place by someone who said "I'm not a Gringo, I'm Canadian." Obviously someone who has never read the Oxford English Dictionary.)

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