What Louise said!!! Thank you. If I may, I'd like to share this with my home, very traditional, dance.
Mary On Tue, Mar 12, 2024, 7:51 AM Louise Siddons via Contra Callers < contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote: > Colin wrote: > > > I wasn't going to get involved in all this, but I have to side with Ken > Panton - I'm a man and I certainly prefer > dancing with women. And I very much enjoy dancing with Louise Siddons > even though she may generally have a different preference. > > > It always surprises me when people bring sexuality into this conversation, > even though at this point I should know better. I enjoy dancing with Colin, > just as I enjoy dancing with anyone who is a good dancer (or making a > good-faith effort, or having a tonne of fun) and an interesting, kind, > thoughtful human being, and I am pleased that we are friends both on and > off the dance floor. When he (or anyone) asks me to dance, my first thought > is not “oh good, I'm sexually attracted to this person” — it’s “oh good, > this will be fun!” > > Recently at a contra dance I was separated from my partner, a woman, by > two men who didn’t want to dance with each other and perceived my partner > and I as acceptable alternatives. I was visibly upset by it and declined to > dance at all; I am not a commodity). One of the men came over afterwards to > apologise (as did my partner; older than me and not in her home community, > I think she felt more social pressure to accede). He explained that he knew > how I felt because he “has a daughter like you” — meaning, lesbian. I > explained back to him that I wasn’t upset because I’m a lesbian, I was > upset because I had asked someone to dance, they had accepted, and that > agreement had been disregarded in deference to two men’s discomfort. To be > honest, I am squicked out by the idea that someone looks at me dancing with > another person and thinks first of my sexuality — that’s a creepy worldview > in the context of contra dancing. > > There are dance communities determined to hold onto a heterocentric model, > and that’s their choice — but we are, as a society, attempting to heal from > a long — but ultimately quite recent — history of toxic gender models and > so I think it’s a bad choice. Men being afraid or disgusted to touch other > men is a social illness, not something to preserve or protect. Based on > people’s comments in this discussion, gender-free dance communities > understand, consciously or otherwise, that contra dance is a collective > enterprise, that we are all dancing with each other, and that the community > is healthier when it doesn’t put limits around how that happens. Friends > can dance with each other — yes, even if they’re men! — and family members, > and strangers, and lovers can all dance with each other, and they can bring > different aspects of themselves to every interaction within the dance, > whether with partner or neighbour. > > Louise. > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net > To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-le...@lists.sharedweight.net >
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