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----- Original Message ----- 
From: Charles R Updike <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>  
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ; [EMAIL PROTECTED] 
Sent: Sunday, November 18, 2001 8:32 PM
Subject: FAA Inspection

 
Hi, I thought you would like to read this report.

    Inspector Carl N Frank
    Flight Standards District Office
    Oklahoma City, OK

    Dear Mr Frank:

    Here is the letter you asked me to send you about my
    flight back in December.

    First of all, I would like to thank that very nice, older
    fellow you had with you yesterday, you know, the one
    who took my student pilot's license and told me I
    wouldn't need it any more. I guess that means that he is
    giving me my full fledged pilot's license. After all that
    happened yesterday, I have earned it. You should watch
    that fellow though. After I told him about the flight, he
    seemed quite nervous and his hands were shaking. He
    said he had never heard anything like it before. Anyhow,
    here is what happened.

    The weather has been so bad here in Ardmore since I
    soloed last week that I had not been able to go flying.
    But yesterday I wasn't about to let low ceilings and
    visibility, and a little freezing drizzle stop me from
    flying up to Oklahoma City and back. I was pretty proud
    of having soloed in only 6 hours, so I invited John
    Winters, my next door neighbor, to go with me. We
    planned to fly up to Oklahoma City Will Rogers airport,
    which, as you know, is less than 100 miles from
    Ardmore. There is this excellent restaurant on Meridian
    just north of I-40 that serves absolutely wonderful char
    broiled steaks and the greatest mixed drinks.

    Well, on the way to the airport the road was icy and our
    car slid in the ditch. I can see why they say that the
most
    dangerous part of a trip is the drive to the airport. My
    neighbor was a little concerned about the weather, but
    when I reminded him once again about those steaks and
    the booze that we would soon be enjoying, he seemed
    much happier.

    When we arrived at the airport there were still a few
    snow showers around but the freezing drizzle had almost
    stopped. I checked the weather and was assured that it
    was solid IFR all the way. I was delighted the weather
    was so good. When I talked to the man who runs the
    airport, I found out that the airplane I had been flying
    was covered with ice. You can imagine my
    disappointment. Just then a friendly young line boy
    suggested that I take one of the airplanes that was in the

    hanger. I told him to pull one out. I saw immediately
    that it was very much like the Cessna 150 I have been
    flying. I think he called it a 337. He told me it was also

    made by Cessna. I noticed right away that it had two
    tails, but I didn't say anything because, well, I was in a

    hurry. Oh yes, it had a spare engine too.

    I unlocked the door and we climbed in. I began looking
    for the place to put the key. Now I don't want to get
    anyone in trouble, but it shouldn't be necessary to get
out
    the airplane manual and follow the checklist just to fly
    an airplane. That's ridiculous. I never saw so many dials
    and needles and knobs and handles and switches. As we
    both know, they have simplified this a lot in the 150. I
    forgot to mention that I did file a flight plan with the
guy
    in the tower. He said I would need to because of the
    weather. When I told him I was flying a pressurized
    Skymaster (that's what is said on the control wheel) he
    said it was all right to go up Victor-163 all the way. I
    don't know why he called it a victor, I guess that's just
    his pet name for an interstate highway. And besides, it is

    I-35 Not 163. But those fellows try to do a good job.
    They told me a lot of other stuff too, but you know how
    much red tape there is when you deal with the
    government.

    The takeoff was one of my best, and as I carefully left
    the pattern just the way the book says it should be done,
    I noticed that the skymaster doesn't climb as good as the
    150. The tower told me to contact Fort Worth Center. I
    dialed in the frequency that he gave me but it seemed
    kind of silly to call them since I wasn't going to Fort
    Worth. Just then there must have been some kind of
    emergency because a lot of airline pilots began yelling
    stuff at the same time and made such a racket that I
    turned my radio off. You'd think that those professionals
    would be better trained. I-35 was right under me, and
    since from that I knew that I was on course, I went right
    on up into the clouds. After all, it was snowing so hard
    by now that it was a waste of time to look outside, you
    could only see about a quarter of a mile. Going into the
    clouds was a bad thing to do, I realized, since my
    neighbor undoubtedly wanted to see the scenery,
    especially the snow cover on the Arbuckle Mountains
    ahead of us. But everyone has to be disappointed some
    time, and we pilots have to make the best of it, don't we.

    It was pretty much smooth flying, and with the ice and
    snow that seemed to be forming all over the windshield,
    there wasn't much to see. I will say that I handled the
    controls quite easily for a pilot of only six hours. My
    computer and pencils fell out of my shirt pocket once,
    but sometimes these things happen I am told. I don't
    expect you to believe this, but as one time my pocket
    watch was standing straight up on its chain. That was
    pretty funny, and I asked my neighbor to look, but he
    just kept staring straight ahead with sort of a glassy
look
    in his eyes. I figured that he was afraid of height, like
all
    non-pilots are. By the way, something was wrong with
    the altimeter. It kept winding and unwinding all the
    time.

    Finally I decided we had flown about long enough to be
    in Oklahoma City. I had it all worked out on my E6B
    computer. I am a whiz at that computer, but something
    must have gone wrong with it, since when I came down
    to look for the airport there wasn't anything there except

    a lot of houses. Those weather people had sure been
    wrong too. It was real marginal conditions, with a
    ceiling of about 100 feet. You just can't trust anybody in

    this business except yourself, right? Why, there was
    even thunderstorms going on, with an occasional bolt of
    lightening. I decided that my neighbor should see how
    beautiful it was, and the way the lightening seemed to
    turn that snow on the roof tops all yellow; and the roof
    tops were so close that it looked like you could just
    reach out and touch them. But guess he was asleep,
    having gotten over his fear of height, and I didn't want
to
    take him up. Anyway, just then I had an emergency, the
    front engine ran out of gas. It really didn't worry me
    since I had read the book, and knew right where the
    other ignition switch was. I just fired up the spare
engine
    on the back and we kept on going. This business of
    having two engines one in front and one in back, is
    really s safety factor. If one quits, the other is right
back
    there ready to go. Maybe all airplanes should have two
    engines. You might suggest this and get an award (we
    could split the cash).

    As pilot in command I take my responsibilities very
    seriously. It was apparent that I would have to go down
    lower and keep a sharp eye in such bad weather. I was
    glad that my neighbor was asleep because it was pretty
    dark under the cloud, and if it hadn't been for the
    lightening flashes it would have been hard to read the
    road signs through the ice on the windshield. The
    landing lights were not very bright either, You would
    think they would have melted the ice that covered them
    but they didn't. Several cars ran off the road when we
    passed, and you can sure see what they mean about
    flying being a lot safer than driving.

    To make a long story short, I finally spotted Tinker Air
    Force base, and since we were already late for cocktails
    and dinner, I decided to land there. It being an Air Force

    base, I knew it had plenty of runway, and I could
    already see a red colored light in the control tower so I
    knew they were still celebrating Christmas and we were
    welcome.

    Somebody told me that you can always talk to these
    military people on the international emergency
    frequency, so I tried it, but you wouldn't believe the
    language I heard. Those people ought to be straightened
    out by somebody, and I would like to complain as a
    taxpayer. Evidently they were expecting somebody to
    come in and land, because they kept talking about
    clearing the airspace for some damn stupid incompetent
    SOB up in the clouds. I wanted to be helpful so I landed
    on the taxiway to be out of the way in case that other
    fellow needed the runway. A lot of people came running
    out waving at us. It was pretty evident that they had
    never seen a Skymaster land on a taxiway before. That
    General with the nasty temper was real mad about
    something. I tried to explain to him in a reasonable
    manner that I didn't think the tower operator should be
    swearing at that guy up there, but his face was so red
    that I think he must have a drinking problem. Well,
    that's about all. After you two FAA inspectors left, the
    weather got really bad so I got one of the Air Force guys
    to drive me to where I could rent a car to drive back
    home. I never did get my steak and drinks. My neighbor
    stayed there at the hospital there in Oklahoma City. He
    can't write you a letter just yet because he's still not
    awake. Poor fellow, he must have the flu, or something.
    Let me know it you need anything else, and by the way,
    send my new pilot's license airmail special delivery.

    Very truly yours,
    Thurman J. Mudbojne


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