If you are humor impaired do not read

[Mi Vida Loca]

A friend recently sent these to me and although I've heard most of them I thought I'd pass'em along any way. Won't be flying for a few weeks, fractured my tibia (hairline fracture) last weekend. Caught my toe getting out of the plane and did a header. Bill Leavelle who was parked facing me and saw the graceful exit and said he just thought I was really grateful to be on the ground after having once again cheated death and defying gravity and was kissing it.
Dave

Definition of an accident: When you run out of altitude, ideas, and airspeed all at the same time.

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad
judgment.

Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.

If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the
stick back they get smaller. (Unless you keep pulling the stick back
-then they get bigger again)

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there
wishing you were down here.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the
pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out
into a sweat.

Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided
with
the sky.

It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is the
first!

Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from
which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great
landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.
Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five
minutes earlier.

You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to
taxi.

Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles
by day.

A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round
and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become
random in motion. Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly
that the earth immediately repels them.

Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make
all of them yourself.

Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn
Bridge.

If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.

Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing:
Unfortunately,
no one knows what they are.

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a
copilot who once was a captain.

Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next
airline.

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the
outside. It's worse.

Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid
form.

It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large
fortune.

A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying,
and about flying when he's with a woman.

A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.

Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.

Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your
takeoffs.

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.

There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old,
bold, pilots!

Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway
behind you. Fuel in the truck. Half a second ago. Approach plates in
the car. The airspeed you don't have.

Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy,
but not for one who still is.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what
it thinks about dogs.

Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all
those trips.

Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw!



Dave
41 Charlie
Dave's Ercoupe Page
www.flash.net/~dmprosvc/dave
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