-Caveat Lector-
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay
on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred
to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice
will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number
you press, no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key
until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone
date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully
press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press
9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators
are too busy to talk to you."
DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER
==========
CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic
screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters
and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright
frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects
spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL
gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers;
be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and
nazi's need not apply.
Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector.
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Om
