-Caveat Lector-
On 23 Apr 99, , Ynr wrote:
> It comes down to The Golden Rule, and its equivalent in other
> religions...if kids got a good moral background from their parents,
> they'd never even CONSIDER picking on someone as cruelly as you
> described what was done to the boy who was a dwarf...
I'm a little tired of the "blame the parents" bit. My own kids were not brought up with
any notions of racial bias and indeed never had any until they had a very bad
experience in junior highschool, in a school where things were somewhat chaotic and
suddenly they were menaced and threatened by kids of other ethnic backgrounds.
Because of that experience and in spite of being brought up with friends from many
ethnic backgrounds, I know they have--as adults--biases which sometimes surprise
and shock me. They are biases I can honestly say I don't have or share.
Many parents in the past decades have had the experience of discovering that children
who were absolute angels until they were 10-11 were impossible to control in their teen
years.That is the terible truth of Jerry Springer, Ricki Lake, and other talk shows
where these problems get aired --often in not very helpful ways. And often the kids who
gave their parents the most awful time as children turn out to be the nicest of adults.
Go figure.
Children are not born tabula rasa. They are not blank slates. They are born with
unique personalities and sensitivities and much depends on the way those personality
and those sensitivities interact with the parents and the larger situation the family
finds
itself in. Children within a single family will have radically different responses to
what
the parents offer, running the gamut from docile acceptance to hostile rebellion. And
then there are the tensions between the parents themselves. Many children of people I
know, who grew up without structured relgion, have turned to various forms of
orthodoxy, from Jewish Orthodoxy to born-again-Christianity, to Jehovah's
Witnesses.....and the parents find this turn of events extremely disturbing since the
children are now embracing --as adults--concepts the parents thoughtfully and
consciously rejected--on principle.
Life is complicated. Deal with it. The real danger is when we think that there is just
ONE WAY for everyone.
sno0wl
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