-Caveat Lector-

 >From the Onion:

Communists Now Least Threatening Group In U.S.

WASHINGTON, DC-- According to a report released Tuesday by the
Pentagon, Communists rank last on a list of 238 threats to national
security. "Communists may now safely be ignored," Secretary of
Defense William Cohen said. "The Red Menace has been surpassed by
militia groups, religious extremists, ecoterrorists, cybercriminals,
Hollywood producers, and angry drivers." Other groups deemed more
threatening than Communists include rap-metal bands (#96), escaped
zoo animals (#202), and Belgians (#237).

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