-Caveat Lector- {Yet ANOTHER example of the Liberal thinking "I spit on you but you damn well better be nice to me." I hope Bush never speaks to this troublemaker again. He is not to be believed--see Florida Voter Suppression for an example of his fake "causes." AKE} Jesse Walking on the Ceiling John L. Perry Jan. 12, 2001 Jesse Jackson's upside-down view of politics: I worked against you for president and denounced your presidency as "illegitimate," so here's my list of demands. His Reverence obviously does not have Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" on his bedside table. When Strom Thurmond bolted the Democratic Party in South Carolina and became a Republican, a certifiable yellow-dog Democrat then publisher of the Anderson Independent ordered that henceforth whenever the senator's photo appeared it was to be printed upside down, with the caption: Stands-on-Head Thurmond. The press really ought to take to doing that with Jesse, for that is precisely the perspective from which he regards the passing political scene. The guy is absolutely a cock-eyed wonder. He needs to be in a museum before he disappears inside his own concentric circling. There was a time if you desired an elected official who would do things you favored you found a candidate who agreed with you and you went to work to elect him. Or at least voted for him. Not Jesse. It's almost as though he doesn't want his candidate to win. His stock-in-trade is beating up on winners whom he worked, ineffectually, to defeat. Suppose you've just been elected president of the United States in a close, heated election. You receive two phone calls. The first is from someone who worked his tail off on your behalf and was a loyal supporter throughout the campaign. He helped you carry a crucial state. Now he's asking you to do something not inconsistent with your campaign pledges. The second call is from Jesse Jackson, who worked his tail off trying to defeat you in about every state in the Union and just finished telling a national press conference that you stole the election and your presidency is illegitimate. Now he's reading off a whole long laundry list of things - none consistent with your campaign pledges - that he demands, not requests. Which phone call, if you haven't lost all your marbles, are you least likely to give more sympathetic attention? Indeed, which phone call are you morally obligated to treat sympathetically if the nation is to take your integrity seriously? What is it about Jesse that he just doesn't understand why people are not ordinarily inclined to pat those dogs on the head that lift their legs on them? In one of Jeffery Deaver's novels there appears a colorful character from the movie industry who arranges for a Hollywood stunt man on location to suspend himself from boots bolted to the ceiling of the film director's hotel room. When the hapless director, stoned on something, stumbles into the room, the dangling stunt man sings out, "Man, you're on the ----ing ceiling! How do you do that?" There's a temptation to denounce Jesse for his idiotic ceiling-walking. However, should he arrive, with television-news cameras in tow, to exploit a scene of turmoil in a neighborhood near you, don't boo. Not even if he's accompanied from the choir loft by Maxine Waters and Her Center City Screamers. That just gives him what he wants - evidence he's being taken seriously. There are times in politics when the only antidote to the idiotic is a big, old-fashion horse laugh. "Hey, Jesse! Man, how do you do that?" John L. Perry, a prize-winning newspaper editor and writer who served on White House staffs of two presidents, is senior editor and a regular columnist for NewsMax.com. Other Columns by John L. 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