-Caveat Lector-

The United States of Corporate America
A sad realization

 By Diane Tkac
March 9, 2001

http://www.onlinejournal.com/Commentary/Tkac030901/tkac030901.html

First let's make it clear that under the Bush regime, America is a
corporation and corporations are in the business of making money. You've
got to have money to participate and frankly, most Americans just don't
earn enough.

The Clinton administration did a great disservice to Corporate America by
encouraging individual participation. You know the saying about too many
cooks.

Second, citizens need to understand that government regulations are
dramatically eating away Corporate America's profits. To correct this unjust
theft and intrusion by government, the Bush regime will submit a budget that
slashes funding for EPA, FEMA, the Departments of Agriculture,
Commerce, Energy, Interior, Justice, Labor and Transportation.

With these departments curtailed, Corporate America will see a massive
reduction in regulations, and experience a sizable increase in its bottom
line profits. Any damage caused by reduced or non-existent regulations,
will be limited to areas inhabited by the poor (recently removed from the tax
rolls), the uneducated and most minorities. Please consider this Corporate
America's public notification to reduce activity in these areas. Corporate
America will not accept liability for ailments, accidents or damages
incurred while living and working in or traveling through these areas.

Third. Voter participation over the past several election cycles has dipped
below 50 percent. With the ultimate goal of eliminating time consuming
elections, Corporate America has streamlined the voting process. Just
think no more campaign ads, no more boring debates and no more waiting
in line to cast a ballot. Corporate America will select and present to the
Supreme Court, an experienced, prominent (wealthy), white (of course)
male for a ceremonial stamp of approval. Also in a strictly ceremonial
process, citizens may cast a vote; these votes, of course, will not be
counted.

Fourth. The Office of Faith Based Initiatives, created for Republican
supported special interest groups (i.e. Christian Coalition, NRA, Right to
Life, etc.) will approve future funding to the poor and needy. The Republican
Congress is instructed to no longer involve themselves in social issues.

Corporate America thanks all the special interest groups participating in
Election 2000, however, their services are no longer needed to
disseminate Corporate America's message. In the future, all information
passed on to the public, will be carefully constructed and presented in an
easily understood, entertaining sound bite.

Finally, Corporate America will not, in any way, eliminate the American
Dream. A compassionate conservative Corporate America would never
deny an individual the right to dream that he or she could dramatically
change the course of their lives. Corporate America does, however, refuse
to provide any assistance in realizing the dream.

Welcome to the United States of Corporate America, government of
business, by business and for business.


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