_________________________________________________________ A Daily Joke - August 10th, 2000! http://www.adailyjoke.com _________________________________________________________ ~~~Quote of the day~~~ "About the time we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends." -- Herbert Hoover _________________________________________________________ The BIONIC MAN busts a nut! http://www.dailymegajoke.com/pass/bionic.html I have a bomb in this e-mail...disarm it by going here: http://www.dailymegajoke.com/pass/bomb.html Talk about toilet humor: http://www.dailymegajoke.com/pass/bathroomhumor.html _________________________________________________________ Today's Jokes: -------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Funeral for a friend 2. Once is never enough -------------------------------------------------------------------- Get your Free Horoscope http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=79&b=9999&c=2391 _________________________________________________________ 1.Funeral for a friend -------------------------------------------------------------------- Little Tim was in the garden filling a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor said, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it Tim?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth, and then replied, "That's because he's still inside your stupid cat." _________________________________________________________ Here is today's DAILY HUMOR LINK: (See the entire collection at: http://www.dailymegajoke.com/pass.html) The evolution of man has led to this... http://www.dailymegajoke.com/pass/evolution.html _________________________________________________________ 2. ONCE IS NEVER ENOUGH -------------------------------------------------------------------- A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!" So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, he strutted into the henhouse. Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn't stop there; he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pigpen, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out "Stop, Randy, you'll kill yourself!" But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Randy. The farmer walked up to Randy saying "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you, little buddy." "Shhhhh," Randy whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer" _________________________________________________________ Enter these SWEEPSTAKES and WIN! Are you tired of high gas prices? Win FREE GAS for 1 whole Year! http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=17806&d=735 Win this Gateway Solo 2550 LS Deluxe Laptop computer!! http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=17806&d=753 Enter now to win Pizza for a Year and $250 online credit to Areyougame! http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=17806&d=633 ------- AOL Clickable LINKS ------- <a href="http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=17806&d=735"> Are you tired of high gas prices? Win FREE GAS for 1 whole Year! </a> <a href="http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=17806&d=753"> Win this Gateway Solo 2550 LS Deluxe Laptop computer!!</a> <a href="http://www.onresponse.com/onR_Ads.asp?a=17806&d=633"> Enter now to win Pizza for a Year and $250 online credit!</a> _________________________________________________________ This is a free mailing brought to you by JokesEveryDay.Com. get Free Jokes and More at <a href=" http://www.jokeseveryday.com ">Click Here!</a> Archives: http://www.adailyjoke.com/archives ADVERTISING/SPONSORSHIP: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ___________________________________________________ You are currently subscribed as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a e-mail from the address above to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] The ID of this message is: 344358. ----------------------- © 2000 JokesEveryDay.Com All rights reserved worldwide.