Christian PERRIER wrote:
> Preamble: I'm not entirely happy with this review. I feel like the
> whole debconf templates do no look very idiomatic but I found no way
> to give them less French accent..:-)
> --- miniupnpd.old/debian/miniupnpd.templates 2013-08-17 07:53:13.557776725
> +0200
> +++ miniupnpd/debian/miniupnpd.templates 2013-08-22 09:29:43.789726277
> +0200
> @@ -2,24 +2,24 @@
> Type: boolean
> Default: false
> _Description: Start the MiniUPnP daemon?
Hang on, it's not asking if it should happen this once. We usually
phrase this as something like
_Description: Start the MiniUPnP daemon at boot?
> + Please choose this option if you want to automatically start the MiniUPnP
> daemon at boot time.
Why does it default to false?
> Template: miniupnpd/listen
> Type: string
> +_Description: IP address to listen for UPnP queries on the local network:
It's the IP address to listen on⁁ on the local network, which is ugly!
Maybe:
_Description: Local address to listen on for UPnP queries:
> + The MiniUPnP daemon will listen for requests on the local network. Please
> enter the IP address it should listen on.
>
> Just avoid possessive articles.You know the rationale: "that might
> not be "my" network.
Well, it's the LAN where I have superuser access on the router, so it
probably is "my local network" if only in the sense of being local to
me. And cutting out possessives can often result in the text being
so uninformative that it would be better just to throw out the whole
phrase (this is often true for "the system"). But fortunately "the
local network" feels completely natural.
> Template: miniupnpd/iface
> Type: string
> _Description: External WAN network interface where to open ports:
Ah, now that sounds a bit French, and we don't need to worry about it
going on and on this time:
_Description: External WAN network interface to open ports on:
> + The MiniUPnP daemon will listen on a specific IP address on the local
> network, then it
> + will open ports on the WAN interface. Enter the name of the WAN network
> interface on which the MiniUPnP daemon will do the port forwarding.
Carrying on with the idiom-buffing:
The MiniUPnP daemon will listen on a specific IP address on the local
network, then open ports on the WAN interface. Please enter the name of
the WAN network interface on which the MiniUPnP daemon should perform
port forwarding.
> Template: miniupnpd/ip6script
> Type: boolean
> Default: false
> +_Description: Enable IPv6 firewall chain?
> + Please specify whether the MiniUPnP daemon should run its
> + ip6tables script on startup to initialize the IPv6 firewall chain.
>
> Already proposed by Justin, previously
I also proposed that it should have a paragraph summarising why users
might or might not want to enable it. If there are no such
considerations, why bother making it configurable? But the pros and
cons aren't obvious to me.
> Description: daemon providing UPnP Internet Gateway Device (IGD) services
It's UPnP plus NAT-PMP now; and do we really need to mention IGD here?
There's certainly no point explaining that "Internet Gateway Device"
is abbreviated as "IGD" if we're going to do that all over again in
the long description.
More importantly, there's a major chunk of context completely missing
from this package description! If I see MiniUPnPd in the package
repositories, think "that sounds useful", and install it on my laptop,
it's not going to do me any good at all.
Description: UPnP and NAT-PMP daemon for gateway routers
The man page also has a bit more useful explanation of how UPnP works,
which I think we could afford to include in the long description.
> MiniUPnPd is a small daemon providing UPnP Internet Gateway Device (IGD)
> + services to the network. UPnP and NAT-PMP are used to improve Internet
This is one of the tricky cases where "the network" is hardly worth
mentioning.
> connectivity for devices behind a NAT router. Any peer to peer network
> application such as games, IM, etc. can benefit from a NAT router supporting
That's a really oblique way of saying "don't bother installing it on
your laptop". Also, online games are rarely P2P, and the list could
do with some sort of hint at Skype rather than just IM.
> + UPnP and/or NAT-PMP. For example, the latest generation Microsoft XBOX 360
> and
> Sony Playstation 3 game machines use UPnP commands to enable the online play
^^^
> with the XBOX Live service and the Playstation Network. It has been reported
> that MiniUPnPd is correctly working with the two consoles.
Surplus article. More importantly, talking about the latest,
modernest, most up-to-date things in a package description is a bad
idea - this already has cobwebs.
> Maybe explain somewhere what UPnP means?
The trouble is, what it stands for is more of an advert than a
meaningful name. NAT-PMP is better, but my suggested text below takes
it for granted that if you're running Debian on your router then you
already know terms like "NAT" and "LAN".
Description: UPnP and NAT-PMP daemon for gateway routers
MiniUPnPd is a small daemon which can be installed on a NAT router to
provide UPnP Internet Gateway Device and Port Mapping Protocol services,
enabling clients on the LAN to ask for port redirections. It is
compatible with peer-to-peer software, messaging applications, and games
consoles that connect to online services (including XBOX Live and the
Playstation Network).
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
diff -ru miniupnpd-1.8.20130730.pristine/debian/control
miniupnpd-1.8.20130730/debian/control
--- miniupnpd-1.8.20130730.pristine/debian/control 2013-08-01
23:27:34.000000000 +0100
+++ miniupnpd-1.8.20130730/debian/control 2013-08-22 12:07:21.442596750
+0100
@@ -11,12 +11,10 @@
Package: miniupnpd
Architecture: any
Depends: ${misc:Depends}, ${shlibs:Depends}, debconf, iptables, iproute,
uuid-runtime, net-tools
-Description: daemon providing UPnP Internet Gateway Device (IGD) services
- MiniUPnPd is a small daemon providing UPnP Internet Gateway Device (IGD)
- services to your network. UPnP and NAT-PMP are used to improve internet
- connectivity for devices behind a NAT router. Any peer to peer network
- application such as games, IM, etc. can benefit from a NAT router supporting
- UPnP and/or NAT-PMP. For example the latest generation Microsoft XBOX 360 and
- Sony Playstation 3 game machines use UPnP commands to enable the online play
- with the XBOX Live service and the Playstation Network. It has been reported
- that MiniUPnPd is correctly working with the two consoles.
+Description: UPnP and NAT-PMP daemon for gateway routers
+ MiniUPnPd is a small daemon which can be installed on a NAT router to
+ provide UPnP Internet Gateway Device and Port Mapping Protocol services,
+ enabling clients on the LAN to ask for port redirections. It is
+ compatible with peer-to-peer software, messaging applications, and games
+ consoles that connect to online services (including XBOX Live and the
+ Playstation Network).
diff -ru miniupnpd-1.8.20130730.pristine/debian/miniupnpd.templates
miniupnpd-1.8.20130730/debian/miniupnpd.templates
--- miniupnpd-1.8.20130730.pristine/debian/miniupnpd.templates 2013-08-01
23:27:34.000000000 +0100
+++ miniupnpd-1.8.20130730/debian/miniupnpd.templates 2013-08-22
12:06:12.912521480 +0100
@@ -1,25 +1,27 @@
Template: miniupnpd/start_daemon
Type: boolean
Default: false
-_Description: Start the MiniUPnP daemon?
- Select if the MiniUPnP daemon should started automatically at boot time.
+_Description: Start the MiniUPnP daemon at boot?
+ Please choose this option if you want to automatically start the MiniUPnP
+ daemon at boot time.
Template: miniupnpd/listen
Type: string
-_Description: IP address to listen for UPnP queries on your LAN:
- The MiniUPnP daemon will listen for requests on your local network. Please
+_Description: Local IP address to listen on for UPnP queries:
+ The MiniUPnP daemon will listen for requests on the local network. Please
enter the IP address it should listen on.
Template: miniupnpd/iface
Type: string
-_Description: External WAN network interface where to open ports:
- The MiniUPnP daemon will listen on a specific IP address on your LAN, then it
- will open ports on your WAN interface. Enter the name of your WAN network
- interface on which the MiniUPnP daemon will do the port forwarding.
+_Description: External WAN network interface to open ports on:
+ The MiniUPnP daemon will listen on a specific IP address on the local
+ network, then open ports on the WAN interface. Please enter the name of
+ the WAN network interface on which the MiniUPnP daemon should perform
+ port forwarding.
Template: miniupnpd/ip6script
Type: boolean
Default: false
-_Description: Enable ip6tables script?
- Uppon startup of the MiniUPnP daemon, the init script can initialize the
- MiniUPnP IPv6 firewall chain.
+_Description: Enable IPv6 firewall chain?
+ Please specify whether the MiniUPnP daemon should run its
+ ip6tables script on startup to initialize the IPv6 firewall chain.
Source: miniupnpd
Section: net
Priority: optional
Maintainer: Thomas Goirand <z...@debian.org>
Build-Depends: debhelper (>= 9), iptables-dev, po-debconf, libnfnetlink-dev
Standards-Version: 3.9.4
Homepage: http://miniupnp.free.fr/
Vcs-Browser: http://anonscm.debian.org/gitweb/?p=users/zigo/miniupnpd.git
Vcs-Git: http://anonscm.debian.org/git/users/zigo/miniupnpd.git
Package: miniupnpd
Architecture: any
Depends: ${misc:Depends}, ${shlibs:Depends}, debconf, iptables, iproute,
uuid-runtime, net-tools
Description: UPnP and NAT-PMP daemon for gateway routers
MiniUPnPd is a small daemon which can be installed on a NAT router to
provide UPnP Internet Gateway Device and Port Mapping Protocol services,
enabling clients on the LAN to ask for port redirections. It is
compatible with peer-to-peer software, messaging applications, and games
consoles that connect to online services (including XBOX Live and the
Playstation Network).
Template: miniupnpd/start_daemon
Type: boolean
Default: false
_Description: Start the MiniUPnP daemon at boot?
Please choose this option if you want to automatically start the MiniUPnP
daemon at boot time.
Template: miniupnpd/listen
Type: string
_Description: Local IP address to listen on for UPnP queries:
The MiniUPnP daemon will listen for requests on the local network. Please
enter the IP address it should listen on.
Template: miniupnpd/iface
Type: string
_Description: External WAN network interface to open ports on:
The MiniUPnP daemon will listen on a specific IP address on the local
network, then open ports on the WAN interface. Please enter the name of
the WAN network interface on which the MiniUPnP daemon should perform
port forwarding.
Template: miniupnpd/ip6script
Type: boolean
Default: false
_Description: Enable IPv6 firewall chain?
Please specify whether the MiniUPnP daemon should run its
ip6tables script on startup to initialize the IPv6 firewall chain.
