"G. Branden Robinson" <g.branden.robin...@gmail.com> writes:
> That said, such people define "constructively" in an odd way, as can be > seen above; they assert that the only way they experience respect is to > be _obeyed_. They claim that they are treated as second-class citizens > because they are not deferred to like monarchs--or dictators. I advise > people to be watchful for this pattern because you can be sucked into an > energy-sapping dynamic that reduces your channel capacity as a volunteer > and dilutes your enjoyment of (what should be) a collaborative > environment. Yes, this. After my message clearly hit a nerve, I went back and reviewed the debian-user threads that started this out of curiosity, and I see that it had already reached the point of Chuck expressing his suspicions that we're maliciously sabotaging Debian for our employers by not fixing bugs (!!) [1]. I'm not seeing a glorious collaborative future here. It's okay, and even desirable, to give a chilly reception to people who approach free software projects with this level of persistent entitlement. These folks are usually negative effort: the amount of annoyance and disruption that they cause exceeds the value their technical contributions could add. The ones who are willing to learn and change their behavior will figure out why no one is willing to help them and try a different approach. Free software projects are uniquely vulnerable to people who attempt to manipulate you by making you feel like a failure for not having addressed their specific problem. Avoiding that emotional trap is an important part of healthy boundary setting and sustainability. Debian is something we build together, voluntarily and consensually. When someone needs a break, other people carry the load, or sometimes we put the whole thing down and rest for a bit. We don't berate each other for not working harder. [1] https://lists.debian.org/debian-user/2022/09/msg00267.html https://lists.debian.org/debian-user/2022/09/msg00297.html -- Russ Allbery (r...@debian.org) <https://www.eyrie.org/~eagle/>