Thought you might enjoy this: Sandy
[Rumored to be a true story] Help Desk: Tech support, how may I help you? User: Hi, I'm having some trouble with your logging program. Help Desk: OK, what sort of trouble? User: Well, I was just typing a letter, and all of a sudden the words went away. Help Desk: Went away? User: They disappeared. Help Desk: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now? User: Nothing. Help Desk: Nothing? User: It's just blank, it won't accept anything when I type. Help Desk: Are you still in the logging program, or did you get out? User: How do I tell? Help Desk: Do you still have the window open? Or the C: prompt on the screen? User: Huh? No, I'm in the den. Help Desk: Umm... never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen? User: There isn't any cursor, I told you, nothing happens when I type. Help Desk: Does your monitor have a power indicator? User: Where's the monitor? Help Desk: Ah... it's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on? User: I don't know. Help Desk: Well then... look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that? User: Yes, I think so. Help Desk: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the outlet. User: [Long pause] ...Yes, it is. Help Desk: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? User: No. Help Desk: Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable. User: [Long pause] ...Okay, I found it. Help Desk: Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer. User: I can't reach. Help Desk: Okay, um... Well, can you see if it is? User: No. Help Desk: Well just lean over or kneel down on the floor to see? User: Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark. Help Desk: Dark? User: Yes, the light is off, and the window is way on the other side of the room. Help Desk: Well, turn on the light then. User: I can't. Help Desk: You can't? User: There's a power outage. Help Desk: A... A power outage? Ah... Okay, here's what you have to do. Do you still have the boxes and packing material and stuff your computer came in? User: I think so, I keep them in the closet. Help Desk: Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from. User: Really? Is it that bad? Help Desk: Yes, I'm afraid it is. User: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them? Help Desk: Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer.
