OK guys... its 7.21 in the evening here in Cyprs... and I have nothing
better to do home... so .. I try to keep this thing going... BTW.. for
all the BEST SYS ADMINS IN THE WORLD...
Top 100 things you don't want the sysadmin to say.
100. Uh-oh.....
99. Shit!!
98. What the hell!?
97. Go get your backup tape. (You _do_ have a backup tape?)
96. That's SOOOOO bizarre.
95. Wow!! Look at this.....
94. Hey!! The suns don't do this.
93. Terminated??!
92. What software license?
91. Well, it's doing _something_.....
90. Wow....that seemed _fast_.....
89. I got a better job at Lockheed...
88. Management says...
87. Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgetted.
86. What do you mean that wasn't a copy?
85. It didn't do that a minute ago...
84. Where's the GUI on this thing?
83. Damn, and I just bought that pop...
82. Where's the DIR command?
81. The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
80. I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.
79. What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?
78. Do you smell something?
77. What's that grinding sound?
76. I have never seen it do *that* before...
75. I think it should not be doing that...
74. I remember the last time I saw it do that...
73. You might as well all go home early today ...
72. My leave starts tomorrow.
71. Ooops.
70. Hmm, maybe if I do this...
69. ``Why is my "rm *.o" taking so long?''
68. Hmmm, curious...
67. Well, _my_ files were backed up.
66. What do you mean you needed that directory?
65. What do you mean /home was on that disk? I umounted it!
64. Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
63. Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish
your
work when it comes up tonight.
62. I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed
your
job.
61. Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem
to
you?
60. We're standardizing on AIX.
59. Wonder what *this* command does?
58. What did you say your (l)user name was...? ;-)
57. You did _what_ to the floppy???
56. Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
55. NO! Not _that_ button!
54. Uh huh......"nu -k $USER".. no problem....sure thing...
53. Sorry, we deleted that package last week...
52. NO! Not _that_ button!
51. Uh huh......"nu -k $USER".. no problem....sure thing...
50. [looks at workstation] "Say, what version of Dos is this running?"
49. Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
48. YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!
47. What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
46. What's this switch for anyways...?
45. Tell me again what that '-r' option to rm does
44. Say, What does "Superblock Error" mean, anyhow?
43. If I knew it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
42. Was that YOUR directory?
41. System coming down in 0 min....
40. The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
39. Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems
with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?
38. OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).
37. The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?
36. It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in
a few hours. ( This is said on a monday afternoon.)
35. I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip
with out triping the breaker.
34. What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?
33. I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system
performance
and I have it running now.
32. Ummm... Didn't you say you turned it off?
31. The network's down, but we're working on it. Come back after diner.
(Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline... )
30. Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!
29. Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.
28. I hate it when that happens.
27. And what does it mean 'rm: .o: No such file or directory'?
26. Why did it say '/bin/rm: not found'?
25. Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?
24. You can do this patch with the system up...
23. What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?
22. The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???
21. Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program
was
on THAT disk....
20. What do mean by "fired"?
19. hey, what does mkfs do?
18. where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
17. ...and if we just swap these two disc controllers like _this_...
16. don't do that, it'll crash the sys........ SHIT
15. what's this hash prompt on my terminal mean?
14. dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix
13. find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {};
12. now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either
11. Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750
10. Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4
9. SMIT makes it all so much easier......
8. Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?
5. I don't care what he says, I'm _NOT_ having it on _my_ network
4. We don't support that. We _won't_ support that.
3. ...and after I patched the microcode...
2. You've got TECO. What more do you want?
1. We prefer not to change the root password, it's an nice easy one
0. Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...
-1. This won't affect what you're doing.
-2. `We are shutting xxx down from 8.30 to 10.30 on Thursday to install
a
new tape drive.'
The machine was up at about 2pm sans-tape drive
-3. `I just have to install these three patches. It should not take
more
than a few minutes.'
The machine was working again about 3 hours later...
-4. Umm, did anyone have anything important in /usr?
-5. We had to format some tracks, and we seem to have hit an inode
track.
Half the files are still there though...
-6. Ooops, I should really have change directory before doing that
chmod -R bin.bin .
-7. I just made an extra 2 meg of space in /, I stripped /vmunix.
Oh, so that's why ps doesn't work.
-8. Ignore the errors. It complains too much.
-9. I got these instructions off the net. I'm going to follow
them exactly. Let's see if they work.
-10. Heard at my workplace when I found emacs wouldn't run :
"Oh I took that thing off, it was huge and nobody uses it. It's
a stupid editor anyway." --Spoken by an MS-DOS programmer
-11. I don't know if this is ethical, but...
Back to Omri's Computer Humor Page <index.html>
-----Original Message-----
From: Andy David [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 7:15 PM
To: Exchange Discussions
Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray to Zeus my peeps to keep;
If I should die before I wake,
please kill this thread, for heaven's sake.
-----Original Message-----
From: Muqeem Syed [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 12:08 PM
To: Exchange Discussions
Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
Whine whine...... me is a poor sys admin... .. me work for a small time
company.... me being paid so less... me such a sad story....
Dont expect me to pay a lot... infact ... can i be in the category that
goes
by "A friend in need is a friend INDEED...????" I might be of some help
to
you some day..... do you remember the story of the Lion and the
Mouse....
the mouse that helped the line get out of a net by biting thru the
net......????
-----Original Message-----
From: Chris Scharff [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 7:08 PM
To: Exchange Discussions
Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
With sufficient funding, anything is possible. Catering to the obscenely
rich is one of my specialties.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Muqeem Syed [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 11:02 AM
> To: Exchange Discussions
> Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
>
>
> Hey Chris... I would liek to assemble my very own.. super
> fast turbo powered .. Jet engine car ... that should fly and
> swim when needed... like the ones you see in James Bond
> movies.... do you know any of those inventor highly paid...
> lost professor blokes on the army who can help me...
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Chris Scharff [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 7:00 PM
> To: Exchange Discussions
> Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
>
>
> In case I ever own one, or one stops by and needs a part I
> happen to have?
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Kevin Miller [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 10:51 AM
> > To: Exchange Discussions
> > Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
> >
> >
> > Just in case what???
> >
> > --Kevinm TSSSBE, M, WLKMMAS, UCC+WCA, And Beyond
> > http://www.daughtry.ca/ For Graphics and WebDesign, GO here!
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] On Behalf Of
> Chris Scharff
> > Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 8:48 AM
> > To: Exchange Discussions
> > Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
> >
> >
> > I'm a civilian, but I used to be able to quote the dry weight and
> > other public technical specs of the F-14 from memory and have a few
> > spare parts for one in my garage (just in case).
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Muqeem Syed [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > > Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 10:21 AM
> > > To: Exchange Discussions
> > > Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
> > >
> > >
> > > Guys................. am I the only DAMNED "Bloody Civillian" Sys
> > > Admin on this list... how did I land here...??? this is the fifth
> > > or sixth Sys Admin replying from the govenrment or the mil...
> > > army.mil, navy.gov ./..
> > > and now... state.us ..... hooooooo boy.... this list is fun.
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Tom Meunier [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > > Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 6:08 PM
> > > To: Exchange Discussions
> > > Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
> > >
> > >
> > > Don't sweat it. Gomer was only paraphrasing Alfred, Lord
> Tennyson
> > > anyway.
> > >
> > > "Forward, the Light Brigade!"
> > > Was there a man dismay'd?
> > > Not tho' the soldier knew
> > > Someone had blunder'd:
> > > Theirs not to make reply,
> > > Theirs not to reason why,
> > > Theirs but to do and die:
> > > Into the valley of Death
> > > Rode the six hundred.
> > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: Muqeem Syed [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Posted At:
> > > > Friday, April 26, 2002 09:26 AM Posted To: MSExchange
> Mailing List
> > > > Conversation: Haiku Friday
> > > > Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Geee.... thanks for correcting me Chris.... I skipped the
> > AND part
> > > > .... I thought I would get away with the OR ...
> > > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: Chris Levis [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > > > Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 5:21 PM
> > > > To: Exchange Discussions
> > > > Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Ours is not to reason why. Ours is but to do and die.
> > > >
> > > > Gomer Pyle, USMC, taught me that.
> > > >
> > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > From: Muqeem Syed [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> > > > > Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 10:13 AM
> > > > > To: Exchange Discussions
> > > > > Subject: RE: Haiku Friday
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Yeaaaaa Dale... thats the true military spirit... "Ours
> > > is to do or
> > > > > DIE... not to ask WHY....????"
> > > > >
> > >
> > > _________________________________________________________________
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