[FairfieldLife] Awake to God's Allness, or asleep in despair

[Ben Gilberti]

Many years ago I discovered that wholehearted surrender to “Thy will be done” 
can result in a very deep awareness of God’s allness.  Why?   Because that’s 
what God wills – that His Allness be known.   And once it was known, my life 
became wonderful in many great ways.  When you’re sure God is all there is, 
your experience becomes rich with harmony, freedom, discovery, revelation, 
wonder, delight, love, healing, miracles, beauty, all that stuff. 
   
  But then I eventually came to rest on my laurels and fell back to sleep.  My 
deep awareness of God’s allness shriveled into just an idea, an idea that 
became diluted with other ideas that made me dream illusions, until the 
illusions became dreadful enough to motivate me to surrender once again. 
   
  That’s happened four times in 30 years.   The last time it happened I sank so 
deep into despair that my friends had to work hard to get me out; nudging, 
wooing, inspiring, nuking, encouraging, confronting till I finally could see 
what I needed to do.   What I needed to do was become humble enough to dump the 
baloney and return once again to wholehearted desire that “Thy will be done.”  
   
  When I listen, God reveals His will to be always the same.  What God wills is 
awareness of His allness, not just as an idea, but as a deep realization.  It 
can only happen by listening, because only God can reveal it.  But I listened.  
And it happened.  
   
  So, with a new deep awareness that God is all, it was once again clear 
there’s nothing to be concerned about, no reason to despair, and that released 
the illusions that despair and concern held in place, and allowed my life once 
again to reflect God’s intent. 
   
  Now if I get sloppy again, I’ll fall back asleep.  The only way I’ll be able 
to stay awake is to keep listening to God.  That’s the only way awareness of 
God’s allness will remain deep enough to allow His will to be done.  That’s 
simple enough.  So why didn’t I keep listening before?
   
  Well, listening right now, here’s what I hear, “don’t look back or you’ll 
turn to a pillar of salt.” 
   
  Thanks for listening, 
   
  Ben

       
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