A TM-Teacher in a German list wrote, that Maharishi, being asked by a journalist, what would happen, if once he was not there amongst us, gave the answer, that this knowledge would not be dependent on him and that those, who followed the illuminated path would definitely reach the goal.
My reply on this incidence was:
Imagine you woke up and you knew, you had to live exactly 36 years more, let's
say up to the age of the famous classical German composer Franz Schubert or
only 28 years up to the age of a Jimi Hendrix, or if you had only one year left
like the husband of a good old friend from the French movement. . -
I this respect Maharishi's passing let me once again reflect upon my own
remaining days in the form of a thought experiment. I am 55 now, Maharishi was
estimated to have become 91. What will be the meaning of the vision about
immortality and invincibility, if at the end you are nevertheless mortal and
vincible ? That way his death was just not a totally unexpected event but
became a cenotaph due do it's sudden happening, regarding this striking
contradiction between fiction and reality. Thus was Maharishi's comment to the
journalist's question, which could not have been more cryptic than it was.
Therefore the answer had to stay dissatisfying to any outsider. But the
question as well could not have been posed more awkwardly than it was, because
it was only eager and lurid, containing as to my opinion even a hidden
reproach: The accusation that a master-disciple relationship apparently had to
be that of a silent dependence without which an efficient advancement would not
really be possible. And exactly this misinterpretation according to my view
Maharishi had always been trying to combat, but without having been
sufficiently understood. Some of the people stood close at his side, always
trying to filter the master's voice through their awareness, aiming to bring
themselves to be representing his voice - what a hubris and paternalism of the
knowledge ! Others, more or less being irritated but disillusioned enough,
digressed and if they had not been retreating to a sulking corner, they had
been sufficiently disoriented not to be able to regenerate and to form up in
order to mold a new alternative movement in time. In such a manner a lot of
time went lost, which forced Maharishi to change his strategy and to resile to
a kind of minimalistic proceeding. He could not yell it out in the public:
"Can't you see in what miserable situation I am ?"
I do not exclude myself from the self-accusation of not having been acting
earlier in a more precise and much resolute manner. This was, when many a time
nature gave me a hint, which I was not ready to understand, because I still
kept a remainder of insecurity in my heart, caused by the influence of those
patronizing people, and which I was not able to overcome. By this I mixed up
the concept of devotion with lack of own initiative. Something which was, if I
am honest, nothing but cowardice to take recourse to yourself and your
self-responsibility. At least Maharishi gave me a few signals personally, once,
when he spoke to a close audience in 1979, where he stated that the relation
between the master and his disciple takes place solely on the level of the
heart and through no other means at all. And that all other statements
regarding his sayings, irrespective of someone's claiming, would have no
meaning in whatever manner for any third party. The second time he hit me, was
in the Golden Hall of Seelisberg, where he almost seemed to become angry,
telling me unusually rude: "What kind of problems ? Now you have the
TM-Sid(d)his and you get, what you want". ( I spoke about my dissatisfaction
with the leadership of the Austrian movement, who tried to make a hell out of
my stay as a permanent guest in the country.
Was it not he himself, who in every phase and fiber of his existence had been
living this attitude ? Had he not been the rebel around Guru Dev, who just
grappled, not minding any assumed master behaviour codes, but just performed
what had to be done, advancing to become a maker. In "30 Years around the
World" he seemed to have it said clearly enough: "It was a permanent adjustment
and re-adjustment to Guru Dev." In this manner or similarly he had been
formulating his constant battle, to make it clear for himself, not waiting on
any instruction by his master. This was an active adaptation, which had nothing
in common with this expectative attitude of getting the master's attention,
which various disciples used to intermingle with what they meant to be
devotion. But this attitude used to be nothing but the lazy expectation the
master would feed those with latest recognitions and initiatives, if possible
making them happy even up to ultimate salvation.
Thus we have to bear a burden, which hopefully will get us awakened and let us
become better team players in future. I am believing in Maharishi's minted
ideals. But I am only ready to proceed to a matured spirituality, void of this
belittling and naïve form of conceitedness, which keeps you trapped in a sweet
but demonic manner. That is also the reason, why I feel disgusted by the
broadcasting of this industrial sweet affusions, done by representatives of
"Mother Divine". It rather reminds me to the snake's hypnotic efforts in the
jungle book, trying to get hold of the Mogli. This has nothing to do with
Heaven on Earth. The undertaking "Heaven on Earth" has still remained to be a
merely scientific one, who's charm comes automatically to the surface, if you
dedicate yourself with all your passion. The same way, as the congeniality of
concentration (ekagrata parinama) comes out of loosely performed and
comfortably easy taken meditation. Or if you make a puja, the "soothing effect
of infinite abundance" is a consequence of a simple act without any effort or
enforced affection. That is just what made the difference between Maharishi's
teaching and the wide-spread foggy hinduistic bhakti-sanctimoniousness. It was
something, where you could say, it is refreshingly seizable and concretely
applicable.
I am imagining right now, what would have happened, if I had taken up the
impulse of the "Art of Living"-Movement and put it into reality. I wrote a
letter to Ravi Shankar, where I reproached so with him that he might do
something brainy to his devotees in his role as a former disciple of Maharishi:
"Science of Being" instead of "Art of Living". Transcending instead of panty
breathing, called Sudarshan Kriya. The unexpected answer came soon by his
personal secretary. Close to self-irony he invited me "to get hundreds of
thousands of my followers initiated into TM and TM-Sidhis, provided
a) I could give proof to have been authorised by Maharishi
b) We would not behave like a fanatic muslim organization
And he invited me for June 1999 to come to Andhra Pradesh in order to start
with performing.
The last condition I could immediately assure but with the first prerequisite I
failed to succeed, because I did not have the guts to state that I was
sufficiently authorised to start with the task. I had already been initiating
in India at that time, even though from all sides insecurity was being spread,
lead by Dr. Wilhelm Bosch, a secret agent from Christian church as I estimated.
I had a recommendation from Samhita, the German national TM-Organisation, added
with a few recommendations of TM-Teacher colleagues. And I even got an
enciphered late answer by Maharishi himself, directly on the day, when I left,
forwarded by Silke Bachorz via Willi Kempe. But even Prakash Shrivastava, a
direct relative to Maharishi and national leader of India, was not willing to
help be while visiting his place in Delhi, just trying to excuse himself with
subterfuges. Three attempts I made and after my third visit thousands of miles
across the country at Mathura Road the TM-Teacher contract, issued by MVU
Holland fluttered on the Janis table at Ahmedabad. (And which by the way seems
to be valid, even though "Raja" Schiffgens reckoned it would have been
concluded with the wrong people, as if he knew, who the right and the wrong
people were - I could only laugh about).
Thus I waited on an answer out of my own "camp" in vain. Only frosty silence
was passing through the ether. Every expert of the (German) movement cowered
away (The Melchers, Torsten Eickhoff, Reinhard Borowitz, Peter Rohr etc.) and
who wondered about what was to be read on all these internet pages, saying that
the ministry of communication was still vacacant, having no minister. Exactly
at that time the disease malaria came as an addition, as if having been called
on the point. I went through it, accompanied by three out my four children and
we defeated it without recourse to any chemicals, and against the constant
influence by our surroundings, which constantly gave the advise to take some
"down to earth" medicine.
Actually I am thinking that the internal communication flow, influenced by
so-called secret agents had been taking care of getting the connection to my
new client cut. Instead of I got a totally indifferent mail by Dr. Eberhard
Baumann ("how are you ?"). He had been shifting to AoL and he obviously didn't
find time to answer to my feed back on his mail.
I was remembering him from the AEGTC in 1976 at Interlaken and later on at
Boppard, where he insisted of getting me an "appropriate" movement haircut. I
was at the verge to join the four member groups, ready to leave for India. But
for some reason we had to stay.
And I was always thinking how this man got access to my confidential
correspondence to the leaders of AoL. At least the underground communication
seemed to have been functioning, but with what target ?
I have in mind that this has to change, and dear friends, we have something to
be caught up from the past. The basic approaches had been there but the courage
was missing to bear the consequences. At least I can say that about myself and
it was due to lack of maturity. But I am still in hope that this will be
changing - may be with your support.
Hagen
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