8 Reasons Sarah Palin is More Qualified than Barack Obama

by Seth Grahame-Smith

Sarah Palin has ignited the presidential race and fired up the GOP --
as evidenced by three women at the RNC who took the time to print the
words "We," "Love," and "Sarah" on pieces of paper and tape them to
the backs of their t-shirts. Sarah's even won the backing of the
level-headed Rep. Michele Bachmann (R- MN) -- not exactly known for
toeing the party line. Clearly, the liberal left realizes that it
can't match this kind of unbridled enthusiasm for its candidate. So
what are they doing? Attacking her character. Questioning her
qualifications. Imagine a political group attacking an opponent
because it can't win on the issues or the record. It's disgusting.

So let's set the record straight. Sarah Palin is not only more
qualified for the Oval Office than Barack Obama -- she might just be
the most qualified political candidate in our nation's history:

1. Putting Country First - Her membership in the Alaska Independence
Party proves that she's exactly the kind of leader America needs: the
kind that will always put country first -- even if that country
happens to be The Republic of Alaska. Obama claims he loves America --
but has he ever loved it enough to favor seceding from it? It's called
tough love, Senator. Look into it.

2. Independence - Sarah hates indicted Senator Ted Stevens, but raised
money for him. She hates the "bridge to nowhere," but supported it.
She wants to shatter Hillary's glass ceiling, but wears t-shirts
touting the size of her boobs. We're dealing with an innovative
politician; one who refuses to be categorized. Obama may call himself
the candidate of "change," but Sarah Palin's entire political life has
been about saying one thing, and then doing another. Now that's
"change we can believe in."

3. Family Values - This is someone who's not afraid to preach
abstinence for your daughter, even though her own unmarried
17-year-old daughter is pregnant. This is someone who's not afraid to
hop on a plane from Texas to Alaska while she's in premature labor.
This is someone who's not afraid to hit the campaign trail with a
5-month-old special needs baby. That's what I call dedication to
family. Obama, on the other hand? A Muslim.

4. Intellect - Yes, Sarah recently admitted that she didn't know
exactly what it was the Vice President did. Yes, she wants creationism
taught in public schools. Yes, she doesn't believe global warming is
manmade. But I'd like to point out the fact that she wears glasses --
and that's not something dumb people generally do. Obama? No glasses.

5. Military Affairs - As Governor, Palin is authorized to deploy
Alaska's National Guard in times of emergency. And while the Guard's
Adjunct General admits that she plays no role in national defense, and
isn't briefed on military exercises, the fact is -- she's been
photographed holding a machine gun, while Obama has yet to wield so
much as a .38 for the cameras. When it comes to keeping me safe,
that's all I need to know.

6. Foreign Affairs - While Obama likes to take Middle East tours, meet
with Europe's leaders, and brag about his running mate being the
foreign policy voice of the Senate, he can't hold a candle to Palin's
understanding of today's complex, dangerous world. Yes, Sarah admitted
that she hadn't paid much attention to the war in Iraq, but she knew
enough to rightly call it a "task from God." Yes, she's only left
North America once in her life, but her experience as a local
sportscaster gave her the ability to follow events as they unfold at
lightning speed. And as Cindy McCain pointed out, while Barack Obama
was sipping lattes in Cambridge Square, Sarah was staring down the
barrel of Putin's Kalashnikov -- a one woman wall keeping America safe
from invasion.

7. Restoring America's Image - Who better than a former beauty queen
to add some new luster to America's battered image? Palin will take a
proverbial can of Aqua Net to our nation's unruly hair, and apply
liberal (no pun intended) amounts of blush to Lady Liberty's
cheekbones. In a word, she'll dazzle the world with her charm and
style. Even the most anti-Western extremists will melt when they see
the People and Vanity Fair spreads of Sarah warming her fur-lined
extremities over burning science textbooks. And how would Obama
restore our leadership in the world? The question we should be asking
is: why does he only have two children, while Sarah has at least twice
that number? What does Senator Obama have against America's children?

8. Her Soul - In one 15-minute meeting, and one follow-up phone call,
John McCain was able to determine that Sarah was more than his running
mate -- she was his "soul mate." Not only that, but that she was more
qualified to be a heartbeat away from the Oval Office than any
Republican on earth. Yes, this is a testament to the power and
quickness of McCain's decision making. But it's also a testament to
the power of Sarah Palin's soul. As a Muslim, it's not even clear that
Obama has a soul.

So is Sarah Palin qualified to be Vice President? To be one bad biopsy
away from being the most powerful human being on earth? To lead
America back to prominence and prosperity, while keeping us safe from
a world of ever-changing threats?

In her own words: "Yup...yup."



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