--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > <snip> > > > I'll think about why this is. Maybe it is > > > because I feel you guys are even. Not that > > > Barry doesn't often shoot first, I believe he > > > does. But trying to go behind you to > > > "correct" things seems pretty pointless to > > > me. > > > > (Not sure what you mean by "go behind.") > > You don't let any detail go unanswered.
?? > I meant: after you have done whatever you think > needs correction. How about before? <snip> > > In any case, your choice to criticize my shot > > at John via my response to Barry wasn't ideal, > > given the gross unfairness of what Barry said. > > You should perhaps have commented on the shot > > itself. > > I wasn't criticizing you taking a shot at John, > but not admitting that you took the first one in > this round. Are you going to base your entire criticism on the fact that I called it a "tweak" instead of a "shot"? <snip> > You and John going at it is none of my business > and that wasn't my point. Oh, I don't think you can separate the two that easily. The history is what you're using, after all, to justify his comeback. If it weren't for the history, presumably you'd take what I said to him the same way you'd have taken it if I had said it to you--as a little gentle mockery. And you'd then then have had to acknowledge that it was he who actually started the fight. <snip> > > Sure. But as a therapist shilling for business, > > John ought to be able to drop his grudge > > against me and respond the way you would, if > > all he's dealing with is a really piddling > > shot/tweak/jab. > > It all seems piddling when you are on the > delivering end right? That might be how Barry > feels when he decides to stir up some shit with > you. I usually don't respond, or respond mildly, when Barry's shot/tweak/jab at me is as piddling as mine at John was. <snip> > > > I sense that John seems willing to discuss > > > thing on a less hostile level. > > > > Exactly what he intends for you to sense. It's > > a tactic to make himself look good. > > Kind of a double bind here. This leaves no room > for change. If being nice is always perceived as > a "tactic" then what is left? Depends on whether the perception is valid, doesn't it? There's always plenty of room for real change. If I didn't perceive that you've changed since alt.m.t, I wouldn't have anything to be disappointed about in your behavior when I see you falling back. You've raised my expectations of you. John has not. If you're interested, I can give you a demonstration of why I don't believe there's been any change, just on the basis of this one exchange I had with him. You might also want to have a look at my post pointing out the discrepancies between what he's said here about his therapeutic approach and what he says about it on his Web site. <snip> > > And taking up his therapist role with me, putting > > me in the role of a client, is in itself a hostile > > act. > > I react strongly to perceived condescension which is > implied if someone tried to pull that kind of role > with you. If that is what he was doing, I wouldn't > put up with it either. It's not just me he's done it with, either. <snip> > > He didn't just come by for a little friendly > > chat with old TM buddies. He's looking for > > clients, talking up his services. > > I can't imagine he thinks any of this crew are > prospects, but I guess it could be true. Lurkers, and possibly referrals. To my knowledge, he's always had something in mind when he's popped in here--publicizing his blog, or his therapy services. He's never come here just to chat. > > Would you want a therapist who could get so > > unsettled over a little jab/shot/tweak from > > somebody in a peer-to-peer situation? Even if > > there *is* a history, he should be able to show > > he can put it aside without getting all riled > > up if his intention is to demonstrate his > > capacity to help others with their problems. > > I don't know how valid this criticism is. I > know plenty of therapists who can do good work > but who are not the most balanced people IMO. They sure aren't the ones I'd want as a therapist. In any case, the point is that if you can't control your imbalances when you're in the process of advertising your therapeutic services, that really says a lot about just how much balance is lacking.
