So, you're trying to get Judy's attention?
turquoiseb: > In the light of many discussions here of Narcissistic Personality > Disorder, and how it relates to claims of enlightenment, "higher" states > of consciousness, and just the everyday "I'm more evolved/intelligent > than all those REEEALLY REEEALLY STOOPID people around me," here's an > intelligent article that explores some of the same territory I have been > exploring lately. Are the narcissists aware of their narcissistic > behavior? Well, it turns out that they probably are. So what does that > say about the values of someone who is addicted to "sucking attention," > who *knows* that they are addicted to sucking attention, but who does it > anyway? The "disconnect" seems to be not in how they see themselves or > in how others see them, but in how they *perceive* themselves as being > seen by others and what they feel the value of that is; sucking > attention is more important to them than sucking favorable attention. > I've highlighted some passages I found interesting below. > Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists?by Scott Barry Kaufmann, Ph.D. > > Think of your friendly neighborhood narcissist: status-seeking, > grandiose, loud-mouthed, brash and flamboyant. Have you ever noticed how > he brags all the time, not only about his astronomical I.Q. and bulging > pectoral muscles, but also about the fact that he is narcissistic? It's > as if he is proud of it. > > Lots of psychologists have theorized that a lack of self-awareness is a > hallmark trait of narcissists. My personal experience with narcissists > does not seem to support this. It seems to me as though they are not > only aware of who they are, but also embrace it. > > Luckily, I don't have to rely on personal anecdotes. To get to the > bottom of this age-old mystery, Erika Carlson > <http://www.self-other.com/ErikaCarlson.html> and her colleagues at > Washington University in St. Louis conducted three very well-done > studies to see whether narcissists have insight into their personality > and their reputation. The results will soon be published in the > prestigious Journal of Personality and Social Psychology > <http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/psp/> . > > The researchers administered a number of different measures of > narcissism to college students and looked at how high-scorers are seen > by others, how they see themselves *and how they believe they are seen > by others*. They looked across social contexts and interviewed new > acquaintances as well as friends and family. There results across the > three studies are strikingly consistent. > > Unsurprisingly, they found that narcissists think they are hot stuff. > Those scoring high in narcissism tended to rate themselves as more > intelligent, physically attractive, likeable and funny than others. > Interestingly, they also rated themselves as having higher levels of > negative aspects of narcissism, such as being power-oriented, impulsive, > arrogant and prone to exaggerate their abilities! Therefore, > *narcissists are aware they are narcissists*. > > There was also a strong positive correlation between narcissism and > having a reputation for narcissism: narcissists were definitely > perceived as narcissists. While other people didn't think the > narcissists were nearly as hot as the narcissists thought they were, the > narcissists were well aware of their reputation. When asked how others > perceive them on the positive traits, their results were closer to how > they were actually perceived than their own self-perceptions of the very > same traits. > > These results suggest that narcissists do indeed have self-awareness of > themselves and know their reputation. *This begs the question: how can > narcissists maintain their inflated self-image even though they know > full well how they are perceived by others?* The researchers suggest a > few intriguing possibilities. > > *Perhaps narcissists assume that others are just failing to realize how > bitchin' they really are*. They may think that people are just too dim > to recognize their brilliance. Another possibility is that narcissists > may think critics are just envious of them. Narcissists may take > negative feedback and think to themselves, "Those haters are just > jealous!" > > This may explain why narcissists behave in arrogant ways. *Instead of > compensating for some deep-seated insecurity > <http://pss.sagepub.com/content/18/3/227.extract> , bragging may be > their way of demanding the recognition they truly believe they deserve. > Narcissists score up the wazoo in entitlement*. As the researchers > note, this idea is consistent with self-verification theory > <http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/HomePage/Faculty/Swann/docu/north%20and%\ > 20swann%202009.pdf> : "Narcissists believe that they are exceptional > people and may behave in arrogant ways because they are attempting to > bridge the gap between their self perceptions and their > meta-perceptions." > > The researchers also suggest it's possible that narcissists maintain > their self-image by misconstruing the meaning of narcissism. When told > they are arrogant, instead of thinking they are "someone who is > confident without merit," they may take it as a compliment, thinking to > themselves, "Well, duh I'm arrogant, if by that you mean 'deservedly > confident!'" As the researchers note, "Narcissists seem to choose honest > arrogance when describing themselves and their reputation." > > The results of this study as well as prior studies > <http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6V9F-45RDM71-\ > 8D&_user=10&_coverDate=07%2F31%2F1992&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=gateway&_o\ > rigin=gateway&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_searchStrId=1693740600&_rerunO\ > rigin=scholar.google&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=1\ > 0&md5=1ef77a2aaa0409bfdb40f463e31a4c9a&searchtype=a> suggest that > narcissists do care more about being perceived as superior on agentic > traits (e.g., industriousness, assertiveness, dominance) compared to > communal traits (e.g., agreeableness and honesty). *Narcissists don't > seem to care whether they are perceived as good people; they'd rather be > admired than liked <http://www.columbia.edu/%7Eda358/npi16/raskin.pdf> . > So perhaps the narcissists in their study construed supposedly negative > aspects of narcissism (e.g., arrogance) as desirable*. > > *Of course, it's also possible that narcissists are fully aware of the > meaning of narcissism and the negative impact they have on others, but > just don't care as long as it doesn't get in the way of their goals*. > > The researchers also found that new acquaintances viewed narcissists > more positively than well acquainted others. Those who just met the > narcissists did tend to have a favorable impression of the narcissists, > whereas those who knew the narcissists much longer tended to have a much > more negative impression of the narcissists. > > Again, the narcissists in their sample were fully aware of this! *The > results suggest that narcissists understand that they make positive > first impressions that deteriorate over time*. [Think of this in terms > of narcissistic spiritual teachers such as MMY. -Turq] These results are > consistent with prior research that has shown that narcissists have > trouble forming long-term relationships > <http://www.psych.northwestern.edu/%7Efinkel/documents/Campbelletal_2002\ > _001.pdf> . Narcissists tend to think they are "too good" for most > people and are always seeking "better" relationship alternatives. > > The results are also consistent with research showing that narcissists > are masters at first impressions > <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201001/why-are-narc\ > issists-initially-so-popular> . As researchers have suggested, the > narcissist's success at creating initial attraction may make short-term > contexts more rewarding for them than longer-term contexts: "It is > possible that narcissists discontinue relationships early on because > they cannot bridge the gap between their positive self-perceptions and > relatively negative meta-perceptions. > <http://faculty.haas.berkeley.edu/chatman/papers/13_KnowingYourPlace.pdf\ > > " > > Practical Implications > > *It's well known that narcissists rarely change, mostly because they > don't want to change. They love their lifestyle. Researchers trying to > reform narcissists have noted that a major impediment is their lack of > self-awareness*. They have speculated that if narcissists received true > feedback, they would change. The study by Carlson and colleagues > suggests that this is not the case. Narcissists are fully aware that > they are narcissistic and have a narcissistic reputation. > > Instead, the researchers suggest that a better intervention would be to > "emphasize the interpersonal and intrapsychic costs of being seen as > narcissistic by others." *Narcissists are unlikely to change unless they > think changing will benefit the things they desire, such as status and > power*. > > Are You a Narcissist? > > Many of you are probably reading this and wondering whether you are a > narcissist. An implication of the results I just reviewed is that if > you are a narcissist, you probably already know it! > > In reality, all of us are at least a little bit narcissistic. In the > studies just reviewed, the researchers administered a narcissistic > questionnaire to college students. Even though they found that the > students scored all across the spectrum, it's not as if there was anyone > who was completely non-narcissistic. All of us, throughout our day, ebb > and flow in and out of the narcissistic mindset. >
