--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "curtisdeltablues" <curtisdeltablues@...> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Ravi Yogi" raviyogi@ wrote: > > > > > > Yes I'm sincere in my love to my beloved and I do love to share that. It > > might come across as special state of mind, condescending, derogatory, > > awareness of other's state of mind, front'n, running numbers on > > strangers, subjective, vague but I can't help it. You are spot on that > > the only way I can express it is through metaphors designed for shock > > effect and so guilty as charged. > > > Mostly it just comes off as unconvincing and odd. > Yes that is true. > > But I am not looking for any > > relationship with you or anyone else, like I said I am not looking for a> threesome. So you are absolutely spot on everything except for the> threesome part.> > > > That's cool. It was worth a shot. But I disagree that you don't want a relationship with me on FFL, you bring up my name in a derogatory way repeatedly. What you mean is that you don't seek a pleasant, respectful relationship with me here and prefer to condescend and insult from on high. In my experience there is often no "there" there with pugnacious people. But I my be wrong about you. > Well in my personal life I mock myself in attempt to share my joy - I was at the ashram yesterday feeling high, went to the dishwashing area, loudly welcoming everyone I knew, remarked that I should come sober to the ashram and Amma should be hiding her divine vodka from an alcoholic like me. Amma is visiting in June here and I loudly remarked that how I don't even need to see her but she would miss me if I didn't. So I attract lot of attention from the people around me. I have another friend who likes me but she thinks I'm odd and crazy at times and so I will remark loudly to her and the people around that I'm bipolar, paranoid schizophrenic and I'm very manic now. Its a very similar behavior at work but in a much restrained fashion - alternating seriousness and playful fun. With two of my close Indian colleagues I'm much more uninhibited, they are much younger with no emotional baggage and thoroughly enjoy my antics. And then FFL is the only I indulge in this kind of behavior because I think it presents lot of people caught in their head. And the medium makes it easy to as you say "run a number on strangers". I have no other justification for my rude behavior other than the metaphor of insulting my beloved that was presented here, I can only assure that none is coming your way from now on and hope for your love and forgiveness.My behavior one-on-one is completely different than my online persona.
> > > You and others might think you are not insulting my beloved but I > > believe you are and I have to act accordingly to protect her. We can > > agree to disagree. > > > > I believe you have such weak intellectual boundaries that you actually aren't able to "agree to disagree". You go on the attack on anyone who doesn't buy into your superior status. I can't imagine that that is working out for you very well. It certainly doesn't work with me. > You are right, I just threw out the agree to disagree phrase more sarcastically, I place zero value on intellectual discussions that don't go anywhere. Incredible as it may sound this kind of behavior doesn't bother me at all. I intentionally indulge and revel in it, I have been involved in chat lists since late 90's, in the past I would get very disturbed, angry and agitated at people who I thought didn't understand the need to go beyond the words to get the truth. I would react very belligerently but would feel very guilty. After my experiences I realize that habits are not the issue, its the consciousness I bring to it. So now I continue with a detached playfulness. > As I said, it was worth a shot. And I can't discount that my approach might have been fraught with too many judgments to make it a realistic expectation. In other words the breakdown in communication is not all on you brother. I'll tend to my garden and see what I can learn from this. > > In the meantime I hope to read your exchanges with Jim whom you seem to regard as on your level. He may be a better man for this job. > > Its' not I consider anyone as equal or unequal I just think Jim intuitively gets it. Steve is another I think that gets it - anyone who is heart and gut centered will usually go beyond the words. > > > > >
