--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Xenophaneros Anartaxius" <anartaxius@...> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj <vajradhatu@> wrote: > > > > On May 10, 2012, at 12:07 PM, Xenophaneros Anartaxius wrote: > > > > > Yes, this is what it (kensho/satori) is like, no sense of center, > > > the sense of individuality is totally obliterated. > > > I didn't realize you were a Zen practitioner, I thought you were a TMer? > > Writings about Zen informed my early understandings. I've practiced TM for > many decades, but my intellectual understanding never fully bought into any > tradition. The experience occurred while I was just walking down the street. > Meditation was the set up, not the cause. It was very strange, I was very > restless during the month before it occurred, it was like something was on > the tip of my tongue, and I knew what it was but like a word one has > forgotten, it would not come. Then when lest expected, it happened. > > There were also experiences like this early on, before I did any meditation, > but they were not clear, though at the time they seemed spectacular. This > latter experience was very clear, but not spectacular in any way. Everything > I thought from the previous decades was wiped away in a split second. > > The experience however matched the descriptions one finds in Zen accounts > about how it might happen, and in a sense, what it is like, but no account > prepares you for what it is like, because the disconnect between conceptual > thought and direct experience is finally 'known'. A moment of realisation is > just a moment. Like finding lost keys, once found, life goes on, but the > implications of the experience seem to work their way into every aspect of > life like I am a corpse eaten by worms. The early experiences kept me seeking > (like wow, this is so cool, I want more), but the seeking fell off completely > after this one. But in another sense it has been a new game, like being a > baby in a new world. > > Earlier you criticised my equating Brahman with Rigpa. This was based on my > understanding of the terms, but I am willing to be instructed here because > you are obviously into the Tibetan scene and my familiarity there is pretty > shallow. How do you view the meaning and relationship of these terms? What do > they represent to you and what are the differences you experience as to their > significance? > > One of the curious features of awakening is you just woke up from a dream, > but delusional thoughts do not immediately vacate the premises, so one spends > a lot of time weaning away from previous habits and conditioning, but unlike > before, this happens rather spontaneously, it becomes difficult to avoid > unburdening the remaining crap. That is one of the great things about FFL is > that you can say something, and the response that comes back can challenge > the mistaken understandings one still has in manipulating thought. >
Xeno, let me be frank, here. You have no problem whatsoever in manipulating thoughts or words. You seem quite clear and objective. Perhaps you have some mistaken ideas still floating about in your head but, based on your writing here, I am guessing not too many are left. I wonder how many years does it all take, anyway? Is there a time when one is done, cooked, at the end of the evolutionary road? Cause if I am not There yet, and if I should somehow awaken soon, I might not have enough years to be able to get the complete experience. I enjoy reading much of what you write here. I also enjoyed the link you posted to a joke about Adam and Eve by Adyashanti. In fact, your descriptions remind me of his way of talking about enlightenment. He also was launched from a Zen background, so perhaps the simplicity of the language and approach is the same. I learn something when you write of your experiences so honestly. It rings true.
