I agree with you, Susan. It's always a treat to read your posts, XA. Lovely mind.
*** --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Susan" <wayback71@...> wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Xenophaneros Anartaxius" <anartaxius@> > wrote: > > > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Vaj <vajradhatu@> wrote: > > > > > > On May 10, 2012, at 12:07 PM, Xenophaneros Anartaxius wrote: > > > > > > > Yes, this is what it (kensho/satori) is like, no sense of center, > > > > the sense of individuality is totally obliterated. > > > > > I didn't realize you were a Zen practitioner, I thought you were a TMer? > > > > Writings about Zen informed my early understandings. I've practiced TM for > > many decades, but my intellectual understanding never fully bought into any > > tradition. The experience occurred while I was just walking down the > > street. Meditation was the set up, not the cause. It was very strange, I > > was very restless during the month before it occurred, it was like > > something was on the tip of my tongue, and I knew what it was but like a > > word one has forgotten, it would not come. Then when lest expected, it > > happened. > > > > There were also experiences like this early on, before I did any > > meditation, but they were not clear, though at the time they seemed > > spectacular. This latter experience was very clear, but not spectacular in > > any way. Everything I thought from the previous decades was wiped away in a > > split second. > > > > The experience however matched the descriptions one finds in Zen accounts > > about how it might happen, and in a sense, what it is like, but no account > > prepares you for what it is like, because the disconnect between conceptual > > thought and direct experience is finally 'known'. A moment of realisation > > is just a moment. Like finding lost keys, once found, life goes on, but the > > implications of the experience seem to work their way into every aspect of > > life like I am a corpse eaten by worms. The early experiences kept me > > seeking (like wow, this is so cool, I want more), but the seeking fell off > > completely after this one. But in another sense it has been a new game, > > like being a baby in a new world. > > > > Earlier you criticised my equating Brahman with Rigpa. This was based on my > > understanding of the terms, but I am willing to be instructed here because > > you are obviously into the Tibetan scene and my familiarity there is pretty > > shallow. How do you view the meaning and relationship of these terms? What > > do they represent to you and what are the differences you experience as to > > their significance? > > > > One of the curious features of awakening is you just woke up from a dream, > > but delusional thoughts do not immediately vacate the premises, so one > > spends a lot of time weaning away from previous habits and conditioning, > > but unlike before, this happens rather spontaneously, it becomes difficult > > to avoid unburdening the remaining crap. That is one of the great things > > about FFL is that you can say something, and the response that comes back > > can challenge the mistaken understandings one still has in manipulating > > thought. > > > > Xeno, let me be frank, here. You have no problem whatsoever in manipulating > thoughts or words. You seem quite clear and objective. Perhaps you have > some mistaken ideas still floating about in your head but, based on your > writing here, I am guessing not too many are left. I wonder how many years > does it all take, anyway? Is there a time when one is done, cooked, at the > end of the evolutionary road? Cause if I am not There yet, and if I should > somehow awaken soon, I might not have enough years to be able to get the > complete experience. > > I enjoy reading much of what you write here. I also enjoyed the link you > posted to a joke about Adam and Eve by Adyashanti. In fact, your > descriptions remind me of his way of talking about enlightenment. He also > was launched from a Zen background, so perhaps the simplicity of the language > and approach is the same. I learn something when you write of your > experiences so honestly. It rings true. >
