Whoops, numbering issues - see what happens when I, Emilina sends off drafts - she is getting so lazy. No, Emilina is not smoking anything. Alright, on to the GORY DETAILS Memorandum.
________________________________ From: Emily Reyn <emilymae.r...@yahoo.com> To: "FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Thursday, October 4, 2012 11:24 PM Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Memorandum 1: Smoothing things out Whoops, font issues. Get out your reading glasses. Sorry. I'm a hopeless case in these matters. ________________________________ From: Emily Reyn <emilymae.r...@yahoo.com> To: "FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com" <FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Thursday, October 4, 2012 11:20 PM Subject: [FairfieldLife] Memorandum 1: Smoothing things out Dear Curtis: I submit this first memorandum in an effort to smooth things over with you on this auspicious Thursday. Feel free to parse the sparse details of it at your leisure. MEMORANDUM TWO - GORY DETAILS will follow. I promise not to write more than three Memorandums. I promise not to exit on an exotic vacation to "anywhere but here." I have taken the luxury of stealing your name Emilina for this story (such a cute name; sounds like Thumbelina doesn't it?), but have switched up your original context just a bit, in the interest of creative expression and to serve up the larger goals of coolness and smoothness in my post. I will work hard to prevent what was "a series of unfortunate events" (to also steal the title from Lemony Snicket) from turning into an epic fail. MEMORANDUM ONE To: Curtis, gentle reader on FFL From: Emilina, HR Department RE: HISTORY BEHIND: "Alright, I will say it: Emily did a major number on my ass. " Acting as the HR department here at FFL Central Cinema (FFL for short), it has come to I, Emilina's attention that there was a situation a couple of weeks back that warrants closure. Said situation has the following history (in summary and paraphrased): 1) Emily, a well-nigh saintly actress-in-training, (no relation to me, Emilina) received a distressing email regarding her "butting in" on an exchange between Curtis and Robin, two of our most famous lead actors. Emily had written a post to Curtis which played off of an ironic post by Robin, that was intended as humor (embedded with a few tiny teasing tweaks). She had followed up with a post that included a video of "Clash of the Titans" and a few more teasing remarks to both Robin and Curtis as they moved their exchange off-line. 2) Subsequent to this, Emily received a personal email marked *Private* where the author, unknown to Emily accept in name only took her to task for egging on Robin, potentially putting Curtis's employment at risk, and amongst a few other put-downs, implied that she was taking some kind of sick pleasure in it all, deferring to an unstated word for what that was. 2) Emily, who values her privacy and who currently acts under a false (but at least pronounceable) name reacted emotionally to this rude and inappropriate email and replied to Sal, negating several of her allegations and suggesting she post the email to FFL. 3) Emily, in a continued state of emotional turmoil, forwarded, (with no real forethought whatsoever, feeling the sober reality of having been verbally assaulted outside the context of FFL), the unseemly email to Judy and Curtis, two people she remembered knew Sal, and asking for review. Within an hour or two, Emily realized in horror (I, Emilina go in for drama, you must forgive me), that she had made a terrible error in judgment. She had, in fact, *also* crossed into personal domains. 4) Emily determined, after additional review, that she was going to have to address the email more definitively with Sal, not personally, but on FFL, where it should have been posted in the first place, given that the topic was directly related to her posts on FFL. Emily was not comfortable sending back a personal email to Sal setting a definitive boundary. She didn't want to risk the possibility that Sal might start up an exchange with her, given the malevolence of her first private email. However, Emily, having a semblance of ethical standards, decided to respect the private intent of the email, no matter how aggrieved she was. So, she posted what she thought was a clear message to FFL the next day, explaining what happened and basically asking Sal not to ever email her again. 5) Emily missed the obvious (thick-headed hun that she is sometimes).... that she had sent Sal's email to two lead actors that have a history of lengthy debates. Now, by this time, Emily realized she was in a bit of a pickle. Although she had moved the topic of Sal's unkindly email to FFL where it should have been in the first place, she had requested that it remain private. Now this resulted in only three people being able discuss it and its relevance to the larger situation of how fucked up Emily was or wasn't for writing that (highly acclaimed by a few) heavily plagiarized offending first post: Emily, Curtis, and Judy. (Sal was nowhere to be found). Emily was preparing to leave on vacation to celebrate her upcoming 50th birthday and that left just Judy and Curtis in the scene. She had exited stage left to attend to her vacation packing. But, she continued to lurk and she became more and more nonplussed at the assumptions Curtis was presenting re: her motivations and intentions. Note: I, Emilina, will sanction Emily appropriately by labeling her as a Mistress of the Inadvertent Setup. 7) Emily determined once again, actress-in-training that she is, that she was going to have to go back on record before she left to address the situation again and correct, as needed, Curtis's representation of her. Now Emily has often admitted that she laughs a lot at the scenes played out on FFL. She has admitted to me (I, Emilina) privately (and she will pay for this when I find that book on Satan's Scorn) that sometimes she even laughs at another's expense. She pretends that she doesn't (in order to maintain her saintly persona), but I know she does. Not because she intends any harm, but because certain scenes, usually enacted by more senior staff than she (but including some she contributes to) are so god damn, fuckin' funny to her. What kind of a sick and twisted sense of humor does Emily have, you might wonder? Well, I, Emilina asked her just this question. I, Emilina had to give her the "do or die" routine to get it out of her, but I did. She insists her sense of humor delights in the highs, mediums and lows and the trials and tribulations that go along with being human. It wasn't always this way, but she insists it beats sobbing all the time. She often uses the term "tee hee" or "ha" to indicate when she is laughing - but again insists, not in a mean or devious way, not a cackle....simply more of a spontaneous giggle, or alternately, a chuckle, or even a full-on guffaw. Note: I, Emilina, have had more than one complaint about her refusal to deal with the seriousness of reality and her devious irreverence for the feelings of others. I, Emilina promise to incorporate Gigglers Anonymous meetings into her recovery plan. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Emily proceeded with a post to Curtis (see FFL Games) intended to take responsibility for her abominable behavior and correct a few of Curtis's errant assumptions made in his exchange with Judy over Sal's email. Emily left on vacation, confident that Judy, upholder of Truth and Justice, would do her best not to let the situation spiral out of its appropriate context. Oh dear, so many words, so little time to fact check or confirm Emily's suspect memory. I, Emilina, need to attend to the cauldron - it must be boiling for the next scene. But, I am certain I have captured the salient points (not all of the points, just the salient ones) of the history behind Curtis's last statement (Or, maybe not, as it may turn out): "Alright, I will say it: Emily did a major number on my ass. " Which is also Emily's line. Note: It's going to be my, Emilina's call at the end of this fiasco as to who has covered their ass better (that's CYA in corporate speak) and whose ass has to wear the sparkly gold shorts to the next rehearsal. Now, to get to Part 2 - GORY DETAILS
