Curtis, it's only recently that some spiritual groups, including the TMO, have
recognized the importance of emotional good health and social intelligence to
go along with the what empty hilariously calls "litement." Or maybe I should
say that it's only recently that such groups realized that expert help might be
needed in these areas. IOW, we don't tell someone with a toothache to get their
meditation checked! So why not use experts for these other important areas of
human development?
And I see that even the SAND conference featured a panel that focused on,
according to Rick's BAT intro, emotions and spirituality. It seems to be the
hot topic these days and I am mightily relieved.
I love it when disagreements on FFL revolve around ideas and evidence and
rationality rather than personal attacks,no matter how cleverly worded. I'm
aiming to be, as best as I can, the change I wanna see...
From: "curtisdeltabl...@yahoo.com [FairfieldLife]"
<FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tuesday, November 4, 2014 10:23 AM
Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] 7 Techniques to Handle Toxic People
You know what is the dominate dynamic on FFL?
There is a group who criticizes the organization we were all a part of, the
founder and the beliefs of the followers. (I am a proud member of this group.)
And a group who personally attacks their personal life with made-up assumptions
about their state of mind and life in place of making a reasoned argument for
the positive power of their beliefs.
The single counter argument for this group, no matter what detail of the
movement and its beliefs are criticized seems to be : "Yeah but you are a poopy
pants so neirner, neiner, neiner!"
This is a stunning indictment of the vocal supporters of Maharishi here that
the sophistic tool of personal attack, complete with fabrications about the
critics personal life and business, is the go-to weapon in practically every
response.
And let me cut off the "but. but, but he started it" routine. You guys are
supposed to be representing the most precious knowledge of mankind and HIGHER
states of consciousness. I am just an ordinary working artist. (Yeah, Nabs jump
on that to prove my point, go ahead!) I am not the one making claims that I am
in a permanent state of infused being or that I am somehow participating in the
most important work for the future of mankind, saving the world for an actual
example claim.
So when your reaction to me saying that Maharishi seemed to be a super
ambitious guy selling a panacea (which he literally and explicitly WAS) is to
attack what I do for a living, or make up that I am somehow not successful in
my life or career which you could know NOTHING about...
you reveal that, like your self proclaimed "master" the emperor has no clothes.
Just notice what you are about to type right now. Let's see if there is a
response that makes a cogent point to reflect upon concerning the power and
beauty of this knowledge you hold so dear...
or if it is the same old routine. I am gunna predict no response because I just
took away the only response you got. I would love to be proven wrong.
Conversation might actually break out here.
---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <no_re...@yahoogroups.com> wrote :
The strange thing is that one hardly sees so much anger and frustration in the
real world as on FFL. Even people who deal with heavy problems like living on
the streets, addicts of all kinds very often have the Insight to see from where
their problems stem; themselves. Not so on FFL.Me thinks my old theory still
holds; many of the participants here are quitters that jumped the ship that
could have brought them safely across the Ocean (as Muktananda described TM).
Unconsciously they know this but instead of analyzing themselves honestly they
start to kick in all other directions than where a kick would be justified;
their own butt. Add to this the fact that many have reached an age where
bitterness and anger perhaps is irreversable.Particularily they blame the only
Saint they ever knew for their failure not realizing he was only there to guide
and inspire, the real work had to be done by the student himself. Not having
the inclination towards self-discipline any path requires anger builds up and
eventually catch fire - as seen on a daily basis by several poor souls here on
FFL.
---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <fleetwood_macncheese@...> wrote :
I don't understand this non-issue that Share has created. The article I posted,
specifically listed seven techniques to deal with toxic people, and Share gets
hung up on the title! She also has an awful lot to say about what "we" would
do, if... I used it as an opportunity to use technique #1, "set limits", not
that Share is toxic, but she sometimes writes, before thinking it through.
I recognize that B fits the stereotype of a toxic individual, with his button
pushing and desire to "get in touch with his inner asshole" (his words, not
mine...). However, I also recognize that his life is basically over - He
doesn't have the strength for a jog around the block, and his mind is growing
feeble. All my life I have defended the underdog, and even now, with B spouting
his usual, I cannot get angry with him. My heart pities him. He doesn't have
much of a life, and if he needs to spend it on here denigrating others, so be
it. He is easy enough to ignore.
I worked with a few people at the nursing home, filled both with rage and
dementia, and there is not much to do, except wait for them to settle down of
their own accord, usually after mealtimes.
As Nabby mentioned about these types, their self anger catches fire, and all we
can do is watch it burn out of control.
---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <awoelflebater@...> wrote :
---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <sharelong60@...> wrote :
Ann, I'd say it depends on your intention, esp your general intention in
living. Do you want to benefit yourself and others? Or do you want to do harm?
As for the rest, I think it's pretty simple. If someone is harming us and won't
stop, then we remove ourselves from their life. If someone is harming others
and won't stop, then we put them in jail until they can be rehabilitated.
Sometimes jail is not possible and I personally don't think jail cures anyone
of anything, in fact, jail mostly makes bad guys badder. And of course you are
talking about a criminal level of toxicity when you talk about jail. Most of
the toxicity is not something you could incarcerate someone for. I'm talking
garden variety toxicity.
Here online, if someone says something untrue, we say what is true. If someone
says something we don't agree with, we say we don't agree. If someone is a
jerk, we say we think that, ONE time. To say it over and over is imo a sign
that the name caller is projecting and or venting.
I think a lot of the nastiness online is people venting what they are unwilling
or unable to vent about in their 3D life.
If the asshole keeps on and on and on then one time is often not enough in
terms of responding to it or attempting to deflect the untruths or negativity.
When someone keeps farting in the room you just can't get away with opening the
window once.
Again, my opinion.
Ditto. From: "awoelflebater@... [FairfieldLife]"
<FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com>
To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, November 3, 2014 10:16 AM
Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] 7 Techniques to Handle Toxic People
---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <sharelong60@...> wrote :
Fleetwood, in many fairytales, if the king and queen don't invite the Wicked
Witch to the birth celebration of their baby, then she arrives anyway and puts
a curse on the little one! Meaning that we all have toxic elements in us to
some degree. If we don't deal with them in a healthy way, then they show up in
our life as allegedly toxic people, etc.
First you call people toxic. Next thing you know, you're burning them at the
stake or leading them into the gas oven!
Is it okay to call someone as "asshole", "obnoxious", "annoying" or any other
number of adjectives? Is it possible for people to actually be these things or
are we merely putting our own subjective spin on how others act? Under what
circumstances do we hold others responsible for their actions and effect on us
or on others? What is the point where we say enough is enough? Or do we simply
accept the behaviour of others as none of our business even when it impacts our
lives?
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