Another bit of humor as the one Re: Immigration Day!
-----Original Message-----
From: Logan McK. Cheek III <lm...@cornell.edu>
To: William Leed <wle...@aol.com>
Sent: Mon, Sep 21, 2015 6:41 pm
Subject: Fwd: WHY did the chicken cross the road? Answered by many well-known
folks in their inimitable style
Updated oldie, now better.
---------- Forwarded message ----------
WHY DID TH CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? as answered by many well-known
people
DONALD TRUMP: All Mexican chickens who wish
to cross this road must submit to a complete background check, and full body
search.
BARACK OBAMA:
Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can
keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender
her eggs. Period.
JOHN McCain:
My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other
side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed
the road.
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against
it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize
how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any
new problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his
life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in
his eyes and the way he walks.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had
a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was
gay. If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes
with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not
be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us
.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong
dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released e-Chicken 2015, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of e-Chicken 2015. This new platform is
much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
--
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