--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, TurquoiseB <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Peter <drpetersutphen@> wrote: > > > > --- jyouells2000 <jyouells@> wrote: > > > > > My experience is that the 'bound' self is built upon > > > the unwillingness > > > to be nothing, the fear of > > > that... Sort of a continuous looking away. > > > > Brilliant(IMHO)!! The continuous looking away is also > > a continuous looking for a subjective "feeling" of > > self that affirms (falsely) that "I exist." The mind > > does this every few seconds in waking state. It's a > > very subtle egoic habit. You can see this habit in CC > > because the mind turns to find something to affirm > > itself and nothing, literally, is found instead. There > > is no longer a felt-sense of "I" to affirm > > individuality. There is, again, literally, nothing > > there to find but pure consciousness and pure > > consciousness is something that the mind can not > > comprehend. > > I know this was a couple of days ago, but today > I found myself wondering whether the same "looking > away" could help to explain those with an Internet > addiction. They intuit that they're close to the > experience of nothingness, and that scares them, > so they post a lot and/or post stuff calculated > to get a response (positive or negative doesn't > matter, just as long as it's a response), all so > that the self can preserve the illusion of itself. > As long as the self is busy dealing with one-on- > one interactions, the "looking away" succeeds, the > illusion of self's existence is preserved, and > the person never has to deal with the nothingness > they can feel just over the horizon. >
Nice self-analysis. It takes a lot of courage to step up and offer such a deep and critical analysis of oneself. Especially before a group that can be a bit "cutting" at times. Particularly when you have fueled such by regular and at times massive goading. This is good. Part of the healing process perhaps. Your being the 4th most prodigious poster on FFL over the past months, its great that you are taking steps to understand what may be driving this. Even when you are scared by the approaching nothingness. Also poignant is facing up to your internal sadness and chagrin when, most of the time, no one replies to your posts. That again shows courage to face up to it. I thought I would send a friendly gesture of support by reponding to something you wrote -- since most people don't care to. And of course, what you say not only applies to you, but all of us. Good concepts to consider -- as many of us seem to get into FFL jags of posts at times. And I applaud your optimism. Seeing the "nothingness" perhaps close for everyone. To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
