--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, Bronte Baxter
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> As far as someone's suggestion that we just read the people we
like and ignore the rest, it takes a long time for new people to
figure out who is who in the forum.
Here is a suggestion.
As starters, read Marek, Curtis, Rick, Sal -- and Judy and Barry --
until the latter two start start snipping at each other. And don't
read , R Williams, Off_World, or Shemp. And you should have a fairly
happy and smooth ride. You will get a feel for others, indirectly, via
unsnipped portions posts, when you read the above.
> And where does it leave the new visitors, often people
disillusioned or questioning TM, looking for a safe place to talk
about and share experiences? They can't do it at Fairfield Life,
unless they want to be fried and eaten for breakfast.
Thats your perception. IMO, I think that is an ungrounded fear -- if
you are considerate, accurate and don't attack others, others won't
attack you.
> And who wants that damage to their tender feeling level, when
they're already working through enough shit from their confusing years
in the movement?
I think many here, I have, have used this forum to work through their
own issues with the TMO. I have almost never felt abused or picked on
in this pursuit. And that is for hundreds of posts on such -- over
five years. Simply be considerate, don't vent unduly, don't abuse
others, be accurate and reflective in what you say. In other words,
simply follow the guidelines and you will be fine. See if you can find
any poster who does this who has "trash" thrown at them?
> Sure, new people could put up a shield and get tough,
There is not need to do that. Use kindness, consideration and
friendliness as your shield. Nothing here pierces that. But if some
frustrated person tries, just realize that is their frustrated,
limited POV, give them compassion, and move on.
>We value the intelligence and sensitivity of our feelings, and don't
choose to participate in forums where they are dealt with violently.
And men don't feel the same? This is not a male/female issue, IMO. Its
a kind and considerate person vs rude, inconsiderate, and/or
frustrated persons.
> I do understand how a chatroom of predominantly ex-TMers can
become negative.
If one sees only negative here (not saying you do), then read more
closely, deeply. Seeing only negativity here is a gross misperception
IMO. There are vast fields of positivity here. An I am referring to
"tone" and insights. That does not mean one can't be critical of some
idea or of past actions or circumstances. Such may bear great positive
insight. However, one can maintain a considerate, intelligent,
thoughtful tone about quite negative ideas or circumstances.
"Positivity" above has nothing to do with "bliss-nininess".
> For years we taught to "never entertain negativity," and the strain
of that was enormous. We had to tippy-toe around and watch our words
and manner, fake smiles on our faces, or we would likely get kicked
out of the dome for a simple offhanded remark. It was like living
surveilled by the Gestapo. People subjected year after year to that
level of thought-and-speech monitoring are going to crack eventually.
When we did crack, we did it in an eruption of forbidden expletives.
For my part, I've been heartily using swear words ever since I left
the movement 20 years ago. Every time I use one, it's a statement of
independence and individuality. I hate the extremeness of the movement
in demanding sweetness and light from its members, regardless of how
they are feeling.
> But I also know that the other extreme is no better. To let
ourselves turn into despairing, hating monsters on account of our
abused past is a mistake.
That's true. However, if that is how you are characterizing this
forum, I suggest you read deeper. IMO, it is simply not a good
description of most posters here.
>It hurts us personally, and our get-even attitude gets taken out on
our undeserving fellow victims. In just the sort of attacks people
make on each other sometimes here.
People here get attacked because they have attacked others. If you you
don't attack, you generally will never be attacked. When you see
someone attacked here, 9 times out of 10, its part of a 5-10 year
battle going on between these people, often stemming back to other
forums. it would be unfortunate to conclude all are attacked here
because you see some attacked.
Basically, FFL is like an old frontier town. There are nice towns
people, who actually keep the town running. These people are never
shot at. And then there are the gun fighters who wear huge arsenals of
weapons and have short fuses and itchy trigger fingers. They shot and
then ask questions. But they only shoot at people who also carry huge
arsenals of weapons and who often shoot without thinking -- but
reflexively. The nice towns people just ignore the gunfights and go
about the positive business of the town.
