Nina,, you are now making me cry more --- Thank you for everything you say... The only down side is having so many of animals is that.. I can't just keep crying.. I wanted to.. I wanted to be right besides Garfunkle after he passed, and kept holding him until I get tired of crying...but I couldn't.. everyone is looking at me, and meowing.. so I needed to keep moving..
My hearing (for animal control) is set for December 19th - and also animal control filed criminal complaint about me not complying with their order... so I have to go to hearing about that, too. I am a bit freaking out.. but I have to keep moving.. because I have got too much to lose if I don't.. If anyone would write me a letter to vouch me as a care taker of my animals.. I will be grateful.. I will be sharing it at the hearing so that they don't think I am some sort of hoarder that I don't take care of my animals. -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Nina Sent: Monday, November 28, 2005 12:38 PM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: Re: My dear Garfunkle's new departure Hideyo, You know my opinion on "what ifs". Whatever we do that we think was detrimental, can be turned around on us. You gave Garfunkle something that you suspect "did something bad to him", (I doubt it), but what if you hadn't tried whatever it was? Then right now you'd be thinking, "Oh, if only I'd given him that homeopathic I wanted to try, maybe he'd still be with me". You can't win that game, and I know you know that. It's all part of the pain of letting go and knowing that we are not in control the way we wish we were. As far as you not being strong... You are one of the strongest people I know. There is no greater champion for those who can't speak, or act for themselves. What you do, and you do so much, takes guts and courage. It's only common sense to realize that the more animals we take in, (esp when those animals have had a rough start and are at a disadvantage to begin with), the more probability there is for loss. Yet you continue to help all those that cross your path. You fight like a tiger protecting their young, don't tell me you aren't strong. You are very strong, strong of heart and strong of spirit. There is NOTHING weak about mourning the loss of our babies physical presence, nothing weak about not wanting to let go. The only thing "messed up" is the seeming injustice of life. Life, unfortunately is a death sentence. Every creature born is terminal, I know that you know, it's how we share our time together, whether long, or short, that matters. Many blessings to you Hideyo, you're my kind of human. Nina Hideyo Yamamoto wrote: >Thanks, Nina.. I pretend to be strong.. but you know how messed up I >am.. I am crying my tears out, Nina. I think that I gave something >(homeopathic treatment) to him that did something bad to him.. because >he went down right after that.. this is one of my "what if..." thing.. >and I so regret it, Nina. But - I know that Garfunkle had a good life >--I just so wish to have more of it! I will talk to Jasmine tomorrow to >see if I can talk to Garfunkle in his new life. > >Thank you for thinking of me and my babies. > >Hideyo >
