I'm so sorry, Marissa, about your Jake. What a beautiful kitty - I
love your pictures! With mine, I also try to honor their refusals
of force feedings and meds, when they get really bad off - I figure
they're in a different process, on a different path, and sometimes
its just the right thing to let them go... Sending you sympathy and
blessings,
Gloria
On Mar 4, 2006, at 5:13 PM, Marissa wrote:
I had to let Jake go. He kept getting worse and worse. He was
barely moving, breathing really hard and panting, no control of his
bodily functions...he was ready...I tried feeding him w/ a syringe
and also with baby food. He wouldn't let me open his mouth and if
I did manage to get some in there, it would just sit there...he
wouldn't even swallow. He looked at me like "why are you doing
this to me." It killed me. I hope he knew that I was only trying
to help him. His HCT was down to 8. He was miserable, and I
decided that it was selfish to put him through more when it was so
bleak. I wish I wish I wish I had caught it earlier and he would
have had time to see if he could respond to the treatments he was
getting. I am of course second guessing myself and wishing I could
do things over again, etc. I know it's normal to do that, but it's
so hard. By the time I finally let him go, he wasn't even there I
don't think..empty look in his eyes....I think he was already gone.
I miss him so much. I only had 5 months with him but it was filled
with so much joy. Jake (full name Jake Ryan after the character in
the movie 16 Candles) was given up by his previous owner to a
shelter. Not sure why, I guess you never do. The shelter usually
puts down cats that are FELV+, but they fell in love with him and
gave him a second chance. Jake is one of the friendliest, most
playful, warm, sweetest cats around. The shelter gave him to the
rescue group I used to volunteer for. I was looking to adopt a cat
from the group since I was moving to NYC. I didn't set out for a
FELV+, and didn't know anything about it, but he was just to
precious to live the rest of his life in a cage, which is what was
probably going to happen. So I took Jake with me, one of the best
decisions I have made. He had a rough go, constantly fighting
URIs, diarrhea, and finally the anemia. But he never lost his
spirit. Everyone who met him fell in love. He didn't deserve to
live such a short life (he was about 2 1/2), but I am glad I was
able to make the end of it a happy one. He was so affectionate.
Would literally rub everything in sight! My favorite thing was
putting my knuckle a few inches above his head and he would get on
two legs so he could rub. He just loved rubbing! He would also
love climbing on my dresser while I was sleeping, and he was bored,
and taking out my jewelry from my jewelry box and throwing it on
the floor.....it drove me crazy but I would give anything to be
able to be driven crazy again!
I posted some pictures of him: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mm2424/
sets/72057594074811372/show/
Thanks to all on this list for advice along the way. You all
definitely helped him get over his URI, which made his last months
much more pleasant.
Marissa
