Megan,
I'm so sad to hear about Olive, but she's at peace and you can be too. Sometimes the hardest part is not knowing. It's easier to know what's going to happen-good or bad. Then we can deal with it-it's the not knowing part that's so hard. Now that this hardest part is over, you can heal and come to terms with the situation. I loved the pictures of Olive-thanks for sharing. She was very beautiful! I no longer have an FeLV kitty, but I still read and post on this site mainly because I want to open a sanctuary someday, and I want to know as much as I can about FeLV and how to treat it. Of course I can't afford to open a sanctuary now, but someday. So, you could stay on this list if you want. Sometimes it's just nice to know you have friends out there. Unfortunately, my posts tend to be off-topic since I'm not treating an FeLV kitty, but I'm still able to learn quite a bit from these guys. Best of luck in school! I certainly miss taking and teaching classes. I might need to sign up for a class for fun to take care of my school-addiction! The workplace is so overrated. Melissa -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Megan Heikkinen Sent: Friday, August 31, 2007 10:56 PM To: felvtalk Subject: Goodbye, Olive... Unfortunately, I had to resort to PTS. It was probably the toughest decision of my life--or at least, the second toughest, the first being to decide to let Olive go in the first place. I spent most of the day yesterday and today with her, and it was miserable watching her fade away. My roommate and I sat by her for hours today. I kept thinking she was about to go, that she'd take one last looking like she'd already passed. At one point she looked like she was really gone, aside from the very slight rising of her chest, and then she rolled over and stretched out, almost as if she were alright... it was heartbreaking. This morning I had thought about trying to save her, but in my heart I feel that it would have done more harm than good. Perhaps there was a slight chance I truly could have saved her and reversed the anemia--but I have a feeling it wouldn't have worked out that way, and I didn't want to put Olive through more suffering. She was too young to succumb to this, but if I had tried to keep her alive, I feel that it would've been out of my own selfish reasons. I will miss her so much, but I am glad that she went out easy. I am sorry that I could not give her a longer life, but at least the one she had was a great one. She was one of the best kitties ever. The vet called me this afternoon asking for an update, and I told him of my decision, but that I still didn't know which way to go about it. He told me he'd be at the clinic for about 20 more minutes, so I told him I might call back. After discussing it with my roommate and boyfriend, I called back. It was terrible. But at least Olive got to enjoy a last meal of tuna before parting this world. She'd not eaten in a while, and I was happy to see her gobble up quite a bit of it. Here are some photos of Olive, if you're interested: http://web.utk.edu/~mheikkin/olive.JPG http://web.utk.edu/~mheikkin/olive2.JPG http://web.utk.edu/~mheikkin/babyolive.JPG http://web.utk.edu/~mheikkin/kittens.JPG (Juniper on left, Kudzu on right) She was not very photogenic, so I don't have many good photos of her... Thank you guys for all of your help. I did not mean to come off as ungrateful in one of my previous emails. I was in so much pain, and so confused. I'm feeling better now, because I know I did the right thing, as awful as it was. I wish you and all your kitties good luck. I may eventually leave this list, as I should hopefully no longer have use of it for some time being... But I'll stay on for a bit. Thank you, everyone, so much. -Megan
