This message is from: Mike May <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
A cowboys guide to life: -Don't squat with your spurs on. -Don't never interfeer with something that ain't botherin' you none. -Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. -The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller. -If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. -Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco. -If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't. -It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. -The biggest liar you'll ever have to deal with probably watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning. -Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. -If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. -Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. -Always drink upstream from the herd. -Generally, you ain't learnin' nothin' when your mouth is a-jawin'. -Tellin' a man to git' lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions. -Generally speakin', fancy titles and nightshirts are a waste of time. -Trust everybody in the game, but always cut the cards. -If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. -There's more ways to skin a cat than stickin' his head in a boot jack and jerkin' on his tail. -Some ranchers raise pigs and some will even admit it. Either way, they're raisin' pigs. -Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day. -Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey. -Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. -Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. -When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. -The best way to have a quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the oven to bake at 325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it, and when it's done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but otherwise ignore it. -There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. -When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else. -Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back. -Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was. -The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
