Doug wrote:
The intent was to produce a pragmatic perspective, not a philosophical
one. By avoiding the telling of escapist fantasy-world fairy tails in
the first place, there will be less untruth to deal with at later
stages in life.
Both of my daughters (now 31, 33) were raised under the teaching of the
Catholic Church with my (athiest) company at weekly Mass and discussions
*after* each Catechism class for the first dozen years of their lives or
so. I avoided undermining the teaching, provided as much sounding board
and reference material as they could take, listened and watched. Their
mother was Catholic but cherry picked what she wanted from it, mostly
absolution for the most part, I think. I had nothing to offer except
my own example of how I lived and what I valued. While my
mother-in-law insisted that I was a "Secular Humanist", I was not that
either, though I can see how she might think so.
They both declined Confirmation on it's own merits and drifted from the
community fairly quickly. Their mother accepted it pretty well, I
think their grandmother may have had a couple of mini-strokes as a
result, but by that time they weren't listening to her raving much anyway.
They had in fact, attained the Age of Reason and were using it
effectively, just as their Catechism classes had been teaching them to
do. They had no more trouble sorting out the fictions of the Catholic
Church in the long run than they did getting over the Tooth Fairy, The
Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. They came to their own understanding of
these fictions and perhaps even *why* some of those close to them held
them dearly. While I might have spoken directly against the religion of
their Mothers origins, I chose not to. And in fact I learned a great
deal by attending Mass for over a decade. The two priests who attended
for most of that time were deeply thoughtful people who managed to
always provide a strong humanist perspective within the context of their
chosen religion.
My daughters today both exist outside the framework of organized
religions, would almost surely say they did not "believe in God" or more
to the point, they would not say that they "do believe in God" (Or Jesus
or Allah or Yahweh or Kali or Vishnu or Haile Sallasie...) and do not
seem to have the need to mumble things about "Higher Power", etc.
I was worried for a time that they might be good candidates for the
neo-religions that my own generation was full of (American Buddhism,
Sikhism, Jainism, Taoism, Newage this-n-that, Moonies, Krishnas,
Trancendental Meditation, etc.). I was worried that their exposure to
a formal religion and the rituals of it had established patterns that
would need to be met somewhere else. On the opposite end, I was worried
that their "failed" religious experience might leave them empty, without
meaning, etc.
As far as I can tell, I needn't worry on either account. If I had to
do it over, I might not do any different... I might choose a different
mother for my children (she left us about the time the girls attained
the Age of Reason, but remained involved with them to this day) who I
could have raised children within a more consistent framework of
belief/non-belief. But I think it all came out fine, early fairy-tales
and all...
And as *fairy tales* go, I think that our contemporary
modern/post-modern narcissistic pop-culture system of beliefs is
insidiously and equally dangerous. The myths of free markets, of the
centrality of capital, of socialism and communism, of consumerism,
drugs-are-good/drugs-are-evil, of neoconservative (sans religion) and of
neoliberal politics... *ALL* of these do damage too... maybe not as
acute as the crusades or jihad but just as laced with "fairy tales" as
Doug calls them.
More on Death and Dying under separate cover.
- Steve
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