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Original Sender : "M Fahmi Aulia" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Halo lagi....
Tanpa banyak ba-bi-bu, enjoy the jokes...B^)
*** Jokes begin ***
source: Valbiz
[X]
A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one very hot day. They
were sweating profusely by the time they came upon a small lake with a
sandy beach. Since it was a secluded spot, they left all their clothes on
a big log, ran down the beach to the lake and jumped in the water for a
long, refreshing swim.
Refreshed, they were halfway back up the beach to the spot they'd left
their clothes, when a group of ladies from town came along. Unable to get
to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their
privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover in the
bushes.
After the ladies wandered on and the men got dressed again, the minister
and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his
privates.
The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my
face they would recognize."
***
source: Cherna
[kayaknya pernah ngirim, tapi lupa, deh...]
[X]
"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get
it up for my wife anymore.
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can
do."
The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your
clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie
down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said.
"Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
***
source: Hasan
Seorang pelayan restoran kelas internasional hapal betul siapa saja tamu
yang telah selesai makan di restoran tersebut walaupun bukan ia yang
melayaninya.
Rahasianya... ?
Kalau terlihat piring, sendok, mangkok dan lainnya berantakan di meja, itu
artinya yang makan orang Amerika yang cuek dan kasar.
Kalau terlihat susunan piring, mangkok dan sendok berbaris rapi seperti
militer, itu artinya tamunya adalah orang Israel.
Kalau sendok dan garpu bertindihan, piring dan mangkok juga bertindihan,
itu artinya yang makan orang Perancis yang romantis.
Lha kalau orang Indonesia?
Pasti ada piring, atau sendok atau garpu yang hilang .....
***
source: Danny A
The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for
the planned Windows 2000:
1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
10. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log
off."
11. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN."
12. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
13. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
14. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
16. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
19. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
20. User Error: Replace user.
21. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
22. Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due...
23. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and
all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security?
24. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have
been deleted. The police are on the way.
***
source: Salim S
"Do'a" Komputer
Our Morning Prayer
Our Hard Drive
Which art internal
Volume C by name;
Thy code be clean,
Thy fonts be seen
On screen as they are on paper.
Give us this day our documents,
And lead us not into fragmentation
But deliver us our data.
For thine is the SCSI,
And the EISA, and the NuBus,
Forever and Ever,
Amen.
***
source: Heri S dan R.M. Sarimin
Partai2 yg akan mengikuti pemilu 2004, diantaranya:
Yang sudah menyatakan siap bergabung dalam KOALISI PARTAI JALANAN
(KOPAJA) adalah :
Partai Cina Kota, Buruh dan Tani (CINTA BUTA)
Partai Pensiunan Ingin Kerja Untuk Negara (PIKUN)
Partai Barisan Nasional Bela Keadilan Sosial (BAN BEKAS)
Partai Kaum Muda Kader Andalan (KAMU KADAL)
Partai Anti Nabung Utang (PANU)
Partai Mungkir Kayak Suharto (PAMUNGKAS)
Partai Anti Penjarahan (PANJAR)
Partai Koalisi Indonesia untuk Kebangkitan Indonesia Raya (KIKIR)
Partai Bekas Birokrat Edan Kekuasaan (BEBEK)
Partai Bocah Usaha Ngamen (BUSANG)
Partai Edan Dikira Setan dan Siluman (Edi Tansil)
Partai Sri Bintang Pamungkas, Muladi dan Abul Latif (SRIMULAT)
Partai Dukung Bayar Utang Rakyat (DUBUR)
Partai Kami Paling Senang Salaman (KAPAL SELAM)
Partai Kebangkitan Indonesia (PKI)
Partai Ikatan Putra-Putri Serdadu (PIPIS)
Partai Amanah Tante (PANTAT)
Partai Fusi Cendekiawan Kebangsaan (FUCK)
Partai BJ Habibi Membawa Rahmat (BH MERAH) Rahmat atau Marah?
Partai Serikat Ekonom Keadilan Sosial (SEKS)
Partai Gerakan Moral (GERMO)
Partai Gerakan Mahasiswa Pro Orde Kebangkitan (RAMPOK)
Partai Aliansi Nasional Tenaga Kerja (PANTEK)
Partai Barisan Nasional Bela Keadilan Sosial (BAN BEKAS)
Partai Purnawirawan Ingin Kerja Untuk Negara (PIKUN)
Partai Koalisi Indonesia untuk Kebangkitan Indonesia Raya (KIKIR)
Partai Cina Kota Buru Harta (CINTA BUTA)
Partai Terus Terang Abrurrachman Wahing Achi..iing (TERTAWA)
Partai Bekas Birokrat Edan Kekuasaan(BEBEK)
Partai Barisan Perusuh Keamanan Indonesia (BAPERKI)
Partai Forum Kont.. (FORKO?)
Partai NU (PANU) (Red: NU=Numpang Urip, bukan NU yang itu tah..)
Partai Kaum Muda Kader Andalan (KAMU KADAL)
Partai Ulama Mabuk Takut Ama Tikus Tjlurut (UMAT AMIT)
[partai yg bernama sama, kemungkinan salah satu akan mengalah, dan akan
ditambahi kata PERJUANGAN, kekeke...]
***
source: Tjoek L
[X]
During an international gynecology conference, an English doctor and a
French doctor were discussing unusual cases they had treated recently.
"Only last week," the Frenchman said, "a woman came to see me with a
clitoris like a melon!"
"Don't be absurd," the Brit exclaimed. "It couldn't have been that big.
My God, man, she wouldn't have been able to walk if it were."
"Aah, you English, always thinking about size," replied the Frenchman.
"I was talking about the flavor!"
***
source: Dede M D
1st Scenario...
Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room, right before their little
Son.
Daddy = Oh!!! You Bitch!
Mommy = What?? You Bastard!
Son = Daddy, Mommy, what's Bitch and Bastard??
At this moment, Daddy blushes. He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy = It means Ladies and Gentlemen, Son.
Son = Oh I see!
2nd Scenario...
Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex, and there they
mentioned the words 'breasts' and 'penises'. Mommy was reading the papers.
Son = Mommy, what's breasts and penises?
At this moment, Mommy turned blue, and quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy = It means coats and hats, Son.
Son = Oh I see!
3rd Scenario...
Daddy was shaving his beard and Son passed by the toilet. Suddenly, Daddy
cut himself and screams...
Daddy = "OH SHIT!!"
Son = "Daddy, what's shit?"
At this moment, Daddy's eyes bulged, and quickly thought of something to
say.
Daddy = It means shaving cream, Son.
Son = Oh I see!
4th Scenario...
Christmas is approaching, and Mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove.
The turkey just wouldn't fit into
the stove, so she said...
Mommy = Oh FUCK!
Son = Mommy, what's fuck?
At this moment, Mommy froze. She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy = It means stuffing, Son.
Son = Oh I see!
5th scenario...
It's Christmas eve! Little Son exuberantly opened the door to let all his
uncles, aunties, cousins and friends
come into the house.
Proudly, he said
Son = Welcome in, Bastards Bitches! Please put all your breasts and penises
at that corner of the house! My parents are busy at the moment. You see,
Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs and Mommy is fucking the turkey
in the kitchen, but don't worry, they'll be out here in a minute!
***
source: Jacques L.B
[X ato gak, yah? kekeke....]
A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about
sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him that
when you first get married, you want it all the time...and maybe do it
several times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once aweek or
so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get
really old, you are lucky to have it once a year.....maybe on your
anniversary.
The young fellow then asked his grandfather,"Well how about you and Grandma
now?"
His grand father replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."
"What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked.
"Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in
my bedroom. And she yells, 'Fuck You!!!!!' and I holler back, "Fuck You
too."
*** End of Jokes ***
- koh fahmi -
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