Brad, I'm Dad in the normal course of things, but I can also be Bluto. My number two son used to be Little Harry as I was Big Harry - until he towered over me.
That's been changed to Harry Juvenile and Harry Senile. And I'm still Dad and GrandDad. And my wife was Mum, or Nana, depending on the generation. Pretty much all the attention is given to the donation and reception of sperm, followed by the consequences. Those consequences are, so I understand, among the great experiences of a woman's life. If it proves to be difficult, I sympathize. I wonder how much of the exercise is hurried, altered, pushed toward a quick delivery, less for the benefit of the mother than the operating staff. In England, two of our babies came with at home with the help of mid-wives - much preferred by my wife. "Mr. Pollard, please clear that up." "Who? What! Me!!" My wife never used any kind of drug to ease her delivery. In the Canadian hospital, she had to scream at them not to give her anything. It seemed to be beyond their imagination to believe that a mother might want to experience birth without a curtain of analgesics to dim the event. (Everyone should follow their own wishes. I'm not an advocate for or against painkillers.) Yet, everything before the baby is nothing compared to what comes after. We were lucky. We brought four children to Canada, then we had our Canadian. A larger family is easier to handle probably because parents can't concentrate all their attention on one - something of considerable benefit to the kids. They have to make do thereby providing themselves with an education. I still smile at the memory of two little kids delivering newspapers in deep snow. The 10 to 15 years after birth is the difficult time, yet we spend all our argument time on conception and birth. Perhaps that is why we have so much social trouble with teenagers. Accept "Dad" Brad. It's not a description of a role. It's the name for a job. Harry __________________________________ Brad wrote: >[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote to me, off list: > > > > My kids referred to me by my first >< name as I felt awkward with the title > > Dad/Father. This because I didn't > > see myself as playing the role that my > > father played vis a vis me. I thought > > I could do better. I think I have, > > even without the title Dad/Father. > > > > arthur > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: Brad McCormick, Ed.D. [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > > Sent: Thursday, August 22, 2002 5:45 PM > > Cc: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Subject: Re: Degrading names persons get called -- My 2 cents >[snip] > > The second epithet is newer: > > > > dad / father >[snip] > >Reading Arthur's response to me, it dawned on me that I did not >express myself clearly in my initial posting: > >I have no problem with my child or anyone else's >child calling me "dad", etc. (although I like >"Dada" better, since it means something important in the >history of 20th century, esp. WWI culture, >ref. Tristan Tzara, et al.) > >-- > >My indigestion is with ADULTS referring to me as a"a dad", >or, as an unnamed respondent wrote in response to my >original posting: > > > I think they are saying "Are you feeling like a dad yet?" > > > > You are experiencing "Has the poison taken effect in you > > yet like in us already?" > >As if the highest thing a person can achieve in life --> >beyond all creativity --> is *pro*creativity. > >Sorry I was not clear in my original posting, >but, as Emmanuel Levinas wrote, part of writing >is rewriting: > > "The word by way of preface which seeks to break > through the screen stretched between the author and the > reader by the book itself does not give itself > out as a word of honor. But it belongs to the very essence of > language, which consists in continually > undoing its phrase by the foreword or the > exegesis, in unsaying the said, > in attempting to restate without ceremonies what has > already been ill understood in the inevitable ceremonial in > which the said delights." (Emmanuel Levinas, > Totality and Infinity, 1961/1969, p. 30) > >P.S.: I think I could have benefitted from a "dad" who >could have written such things and spoken them with >the child I was. I know I suffered from not having such, >especially since my "dad" did not recognize the one thing >he could have done to help a child whom he could not *directly* >guide in life. I repeat what my computer >genius's dirt farmer parents told him, as a child whom they >has the truly remarkable insight to recognize was "way beyond them" >(for I think few persons can recognize >anything higher than themselves, ref. esp. Nietzsche's "Last man"): > > Tom, do what you believe is right. > You will make mistakes. > We stand behind you. > >If parents have a child that is as if of a higher >species than they, they should at least be able to recognize >their inability to raise such a child, and, instead >of trying to reduce the child to one of their own kind, >they should >get out of the way and get behind the child's unprecedented >[in their experience, at least...] task of self-formation. >Unless, of course, they could find >and -- mirabile visu! -- recognize members of that higher >species to whom to entrust the child's "upbringing" (raising >up!) and not just "rearing" (bringing up the rear?). > >Respectfully, > >\brad mccormick ****************************** Harry Pollard Henry George School of LA Box 655 Tujunga CA 91042 [EMAIL PROTECTED] Tel: (818) 352-4141 Fax: (818) 353-2242 *******************************
--- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.381 / Virus Database: 214 - Release Date: 8/2/2002
