Two Daves Pick The SEC November 18, 2010
Welcome to Two Daves Pick The SEC! Allegedly, there will be some breaking news tonight on ESPN about the Cam Newton situation. There have been more twits sending out tweets than I care to discuss. One thing that is funny, I mean really funny, is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiL5UJmkfco Watch it, my picks will make more sense to you then. Doug says: Camgate continues to be the top story in the SEC, while Auburn fans continue to keep their heads in the sand. The team slogan this year is "All In," and that's exactly what they've done here..they've been playing high-stakes poker, they're down to their final few chips, and they've gone all in on a 2-6 off suit. They have their straight draw in tact as long as Newton keeps playing and racking up his Heisman-worthy numbers, but you know that in the end, the river won't be as sweet as it needs to be. And if you buy into conspiracy theories, you should mosey on over to Tigerdroppings and read all about the underbelly of the Alabama political scene and how all of this may end up being tied together. I don't know how believable it is, but it's certainly entertaining, unless you're an Auburn fan. Meanwhile, we're still playing football in this league, and Auburn is clearly the best team in the conference right now. Congratulations to Steve Spurrier for getting his Gamecocks to Atlanta. Winning the SEC East is something of a consolation prize this year, though. Georgia State at Alabama (Thursday) Dave: Bill Curry returns to bammey, only to see satan rip his head off and eat it. Easily the bitchslap of the week. It's gonna take at least 100 grand to get the son of the preacher man. Alabama 54 - Jawga State 0 Doug: Wow. This is the Thursday night game? What a snoozer. The announcers will spend more time talking about Cam Newton than the game. The conversation will probably be more interesting, too. Rolling 52 Roadkill 0 Troy at South Carolina Dave: Troy's starting QB went down with a nasty leg break earlier this season, very similar to Joe Theisman and Lawrence Taylor. Carolina can lose this one 50-0 and it doesn't matter, they are finally headed to Atlanta. Kenny Rogers knows what's going on and the FBI is on the phone. AKC 31 - Troy 10 Doug: In past years, Troy has been known to put a scare in folks. Well, this year, Troy isn't that team. They're terrible. Look for Spurrier's boys to take a breather before their annual loss to Clemson. Cackolackey 42 Roadkill 14 Appalachian State at Florida Dave: What do Urban's boys have left to play for? Well, a better bowl. Outside of that, not much. Don't expect App State to surprise the Gators like they did Michigan. . Could have been a failin' grade, or parking tickets left unpaid. Chomp 37 - Ouch! 13 Doug: A four loss season for the Gators is truly shocking. It wasn't too long ago that Appalachian State went to the Big House and beat Michigan. In retrospect, it wasn't too huge of an upset. That said, it won't happen here, even against a four-loss Florida team. Gators 48 Gatorbait 7 Mississippi at LSU Dave: After being sodomized by Tennessee, Houston Nutt had the nuttiest press conference he's probably ever had. Dude has lost it. Then again, he may have never had it. LSU is hoping that the NCAA smacks down Auburn soon so they can play for the SEC title and maybe the BCS title. Lester might have grazed extra this week so he doesn't drop four in a row to the Nutt. Laptops don't come for free and stealin' came so easily. Atlanta Hopeful 27 - Not bowl eligible 10 Doug: I want to predict this one as Dave's b*tchslap of the week, and that is quite the statement considering that there are three helpings of roadkill on the agenda this week. Funny thing, though.Ole Miss always hangs in with LSU, and even wins their fair share against the Tigers. Reverend Nutt went postal on the fanbase last week, reminding them that he's done in the last two years at Ole Miss what they haven't done in 50 years prior. Atta boy, Houston. A couple of more rants like that, and Rebel fans will finally understand why Hog fans hated you so much. He'll have his boys ready to play, no doubt. His problem is that he's several fries short of a happy meal on the defensive side of the ball. Coonasses 35 Bears 21 Arkansas at Mississippi State Dave: State was squished by Alabama. Satan showed the game plan to beat State, stay away from MLB Chris White, play on the edges, make the corners earn it. Ryan Mallet will have a field day in Starkville, easily putting up 300 yards. Down south there are two things that are very important - preaching and college football. Arkansas 37 - State 24 Doug: This one is a bad, bad matchup for MSU. They will be ultra-conservative, try to kill the clock, and keep Ryan Mallett and the high-powered Hog offense on the sidelines. The problem is that they'll have to score touchdowns every time they have the ball, and Arkansas proved that they can stop the run when they played Carolina. Petrino's offense + MSU's secondary = Pointsapalooza for the Hogs. This one will be over early. Running Hogs 42 Walking Bully 24 Tennessee at Vanderbilt Dave: Tennessee demolished Ole Miss last weekend and I expect them to nuke Vanderbilt. The Vols might make it to a bowl game after all. Not since Clemson and Danny Ford has a tiger been this corrupt my lord. Tennessee 35 - Vanderbilt 17 Doug: Break up the Vols! Two huge blowouts in consecutive weeks. Okay, it was Memphis and Ole Miss, but still, you get the point. To Orange Nation, the Birmingham Bowl has never looked so good, and they actually feel like they have a shot to get to six wins. They'll get number five this weekend, but Kentucky is going to give them all they want for number six. 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