Dear Manav
I read your comments on Adrian's mail and re read his original write up again. I agree with both of you, partially.
What he has said is right in the sense that it is very rare that the kind of committment and involvement he gets from his wife is rare to get in gay relations, at least in this country. He is also right when he says that mere sexual relation does not make it a long time relation, it needs much more than that. It is also true that it is easier to get all these in conventional heterosexual marriage.
For getting the same in gay relations is very difficult, one has to struggle hard and not many are not ready to do so. I have myself trying it for last decade or so and ready to make lots of compromises but have not been successful so far. Its not that I did not m get the right people, thice I got but it was unfortunate that the relations could not sustain either
because the other person deciding to move out or country or he not being able to withstand family pressure. This would not have happened in heterosexual relation.
And with you, I agree on the issue that he too is cheating his wife by sleeping with guys without her knowledge. I wonder tomorrow if he happens to meet a guy who is ready to enter a committed relation, what his reaction would be...I also wonder if the reasons he gave for getting married are real ones or after thoughts. May be he basically decided to marry because he wanted to have the comfort of family and social acceptance.
jay
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