Looking for true love? Take your time - study

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 <http://in.reuters.com/news/pictures/slideshow?articleId=INRTR2HEKC> 

 

A couple look at the sunset at a seafront in Mumbai December 31, 2008.
REUTERS/Arko Datta/Files

A couple look at the sunset at a seafront in Mumbai December 31, 2008. 

Credit: Reuters/Arko Datta/Files

Sat Aug 21, 2010 1:59am IST 

By Zachary Goelman

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Couples who get to know each other before being
intimate have a better chance of having a lasting relationship, but in some
cases even a casual fling can lead to true love, according to a new
research.

Most of the 56 percent of 642 adults questioned in the study who said they
had waited until they got serious before they had sex reported having a high
quality relationship.

The number was higher than for the 27 percent of people who had sex while
dating casually and the 17 percent who were intimate while in a non-romantic
relationship.

"There's something about the characteristics of people who wait before sex
that is linked to higher-quality relationships," said sociology professor
Anthony Paik of the University of Iowa.

Paik, who reported the findings in the journal Social Science Research, said
the research suggests that the courtship process acts as a screening
mechanism.

"The debate is 'why can't we have sex now?' The expectation is that sex
should occur very quickly. But doing so, you're losing out on some
information that might be useful," he explained in an interview.

It's almost an economic equation, he added.

"On average, the more costly the process leading into the relationship, the
more likely it is to work. That's what the data would suggest."

But Paik said the findings did not show that an early sexual relationship
had a direct negative impact on relationships.

When he filtered out people who said they had frequent non-romantic or
casual dating sexual relationships he found that the gap in relationship
quality between serious and nonserious contexts of sexual activity
disappeared.

"It means it's possible for two strangers to lock eyes in a bar, and go home
together, and actually end up in a long-term relationship," Paik said

The reason more people who have sex in a non-romantic relationships report
lower quality relationships has more to do with who we are than when we
chose to have sex, said Paik.

Certain people are simply prone to finding relationships less rewarding, and
they are more likely to have sex in casual relationships, he added.

 

 

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