I dont think I am best qualified to answer your question about whether a stable relationship between two men is possible. This is because I spent many years of my life looking for ONLY sex. It is only recently that I have been able to elucidate that while I was pretending to be satisfied with sex, I was always looking for someone who would give me a lot of love. Somehow very early in life I decided to compromise and go for what was available and have had my share of VERY short term flings. Today I try to justify that behaviour of mine by various means but I now understand that I was never fulfilled. Now when I try to bring a semblance of sanity to my interactions with men and curtail my urges to go out and seek sex it is really not easy. Today too I keep hoping that man is somewhere out there.
So what am I trying to say? That all of us are actually only looking for sex? And that love is just something incidental? Is there nobody who wants love? Lets look at it another way - Sex is a basic human drive like hunger. And therefore the desire for physical satisfaction is a paramount requirement. Since we claim to be sentient beings we have added the trappings of love to the sex act and now say that sex is an expression of love. But the basic desire for that brief pleasure of ejaculation is still very much a basic instinct. Nevertheless the desire to be loved, in that one is understood by at least one person, is also almost as much of a basic instinct. Everyone wants to have the assurance that one has at least that ONE person who is always there for us when we need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, or even just share ones deepest, innermost thoughts, fears and aspirations. The problem comes when that one person is not the selfsame person who also fulfills our sexual needs! That, where the ONE person provides for both our emotional and sexual needs is an ideal situation that some of us - me included - aspire for. Lucky are those who get it. Let me end this on a personal note. Today when I have lived out more than half my life on this earth I may be able to count myself comparatively lucky. I now, finally, have someone who really really cares for me. I am able to tell him everything, he understands me, he is sad when I cry, is happy when I smile, and gives me a lot of emotional support. Yes I have found someone who comes close to my ideal, in that he satisfies my emotional needs completely. On the sexual front however matters are altogether different. He is a physically attractive man who has no dearth of people willing to accommodate his needs and even find fulfillment in fulfilling his needs. He has a wide choice when it comes to sexual partners and indeed enjoys exercising that choice. Much as I would like it, I am not at all sure that he would be willing to be mine and only mine, however much I would like to be his and his alone. He is like the proverbial tiger who has tasted blood and now cannot help hunt for more. That leaves me with a strange choice ........to carry on with my short term flings, which are getting to be more and more meaningless, when I am mentally already committed. Or else restrict myself to having sex only him, and feel neglected and resentful when I know that he is also getting his jollies elsewhere! What would you do if you were in my position? ________________________________ From: bapu nath <imrkn2...@yahoo.co.in> To: "gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com" <gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com> Sent: Thursday, 20 September 2012 9:48 PM Subject: Re: g_b Have Attention please i could understand your feeling well. Because i am also similar to you. There will many more like us who need a stable monogamous relationship. Remember, as long as people like Asfa..., A Banjeree are available in India, it would be hard to gain a consensus regarding Same Sex Marriage Act. So We dont need just decriminalization of S. 377 but also we need SSMA. Thanks ________________________________ From: "soulsaf...@ymail.com" <soulsaf...@ymail.com> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, 9 September 2012 12:08 AM Subject: g_b Have Attention please Hello guys , Mujhe nahi pata mai yeh sab kuchh mai kyu likh raha ha hun , but ek tarah se apni frustration is mail ke through nikal raha hun , I really don't know , how you people react on it ..meri gay life age of 17 yrs se shuru hui ,now I am 24 ....in 7 yrs mai meri life kuchh gine chune log aaye aur chale gaye, mujhe kuchh farak nahi pada ,shyad unhe bhi .....lakin aaj mai us mod per khada hu jaha I really need someone , I need someone,s shoulder , I need someone,s moral support. Should I come out to my family ? lakin kya mai unko apni reality bata sakta hun jo maine itne saal tak sabse jo chhupayi hai ...kya us decorum ko tod du , jisko mai itne saal tak banata aaya hun .....lakin jab maine deeply socha to paya mai aisa kabhi nahi kar sakta ......kyu? Kyunki aisa karne se sab thik ho jaiga. Aisa nahi hai , even situation aur bhi worst ho jayegi ........ To karu to kya karu ? Chalo mai apni family ko convince kar bhi paya tab uske baad? To kya mujhe apni family se NOC (non objection certificate) mil gayi hai m2m sex ke liye ? Kya meri life yeh honi chahiye , jab bhi mauka mile kisi ke bhi sath uske bed chala jau ? Mera koi moral character nahi hoga ? Kya koi bhi meri life mai aisa nahi hoga jiski god mai sar rakh kar mai apne dukh ko keh saku? Kya koi bhi aisa nahi milega jo kahe , ki mai tere sath hun , teri life ki har mashukilo mai aur khushi ke palo mai ? Maine kafi sare groups communities aur sites join kare , log bahut kuchh likhte hai , different 2 issues per , but hardly koi hoga jo in sab baato ke baare discussion chahta hoga , kyu ? Aisa kyu hai ? Kya hum sab logo ki feelings finish ho gayi ? Kya SEX word hi hum sab ki life mai exist karta hai ? Aur LOVE ya RELATIONSHIP jaise words SEX ko pane ke liye humne inki definition hi badal di hai ? Ab chahe Love kaho to uska end SEX per hota hai , aur chahe Relationship bhi kaho to bhi uska end Sex per hi khatam hota hai....kyu nahi hum society mai yeh message dete ki GAY world is not meant for sex only? Kyu hum kisi ek sath stable hona chahte ? kya kisi mai bhi aise guts nahi hai jo Relationship ko life time tak nibha sake ? I am really disappointed , totally blank , Sorry if I hurt any body,s feelings but these questions are floating in my mind .... Guys I need your suggestion , please guide me ...please help me . Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel ------------------------------------ Email: modera...@gaybombay.in E Groups: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gay_bombay http://groups.google.com/group/Gaybombay http://groups.google.com/group/GayIndia Public archives at http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay%40yahoogroups.com/maillist.html Rss feed: http://www.mail-archive.com/gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com/maillist.xml GB Internet Radio at http://www.gaybombay.in/gbradio Web Sites: www.gaybombay.in www.gayindia.org Orkut: http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile?uid=15084918632470824129 Blogs: http://gaybombay.blogspot.com http://gaybombay.wordpress.com Twitter: http://twitter.com/gaybombay http://twitter.com/gayindia Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gaybombay http://www.facebook.com/gayindia Yahoo! Groups Links
