I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq
Please resolve these comments along with any other comments you may receive.
Document: draft-ietf-netconf-monitoring-14.txt
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <[email protected]>
Review Date: 15-June-2010
IESG Telechat date: 17-June-2010
Summary: The document is ready for publication as a standards track RFC.
Major issues: none
Minor issues: none
Nits/editorial comments: There are new nits/editorial issues in this
version, and a remaining one
New issues:
I run idnits, and there are more unused references in this version of the
document: RFC 4717
Also, in order to avoid false positive in idnits, proper references
should be added to RFC 4742 and RFC 4252 in the "username" definition of
Section 2.1.4.
Remaining issues:
I reviewed version -12 of this document, and I raised four nits/editorial
topics (see review at
http://www.softarmor.com/rai/temp-gen-art/draft-ietf-netconf-monitoring-12-garcia.txt
).
Two of those four issues have been addressed (the removal of "rfcXXXX" in
the module namespace and removal of unneeded references). I have received
a justification from the authors for not addressing another issue (the
addition of the term "modules" to the namespace name). However, one
issues (still nits/editorial) remain. I repost it here in case the
authors feel it should be addressed:
- In Section 2, the sentence reads:
"An overview
of the specific monitoring data defined in this document which MUST
be present follows. "
I don't think it is correct to embed a normative word (MUST) in a
relative clause. I suggest to split the sentence into two:
"This document defines an overview of the specific monitoring data.
This specific monitoring data MUST be always present in the data model,
as described in the following sections."
BR,
Miguel
--
Miguel A. Garcia
+34-91-339-3608
Ericsson Spain
_______________________________________________
Gen-art mailing list
[email protected]
https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
