Hi, "Miguel A. Garcia" <[email protected]> wrote: > Nits/editorial comments: There are new nits/editorial issues in this version, > and a remaining one > > New issues: > > I run idnits, and there are more unused references in this version of the > document: RFC 4717
Most of these are actually references from the YANG module, and in order to resolve this issue we will list those references in a subsection. > Also, in order to avoid false positive in idnits, proper references should be > added to RFC 4742 and RFC 4252 in the "username" definition of Section 2.1.4. Ok. > Remaining issues: > > I reviewed version -12 of this document, and I raised four nits/editorial > topics (see review at > http://www.softarmor.com/rai/temp-gen-art/draft-ietf-netconf-monitoring-12-garcia.txt > ). > > Two of those four issues have been addressed (the removal of "rfcXXXX" in the > module namespace and removal of unneeded references). I have received a > justification from the authors for not addressing another issue (the addition > of the term "modules" to the namespace name). However, one issues (still > nits/editorial) remain. I repost it here in case the authors feel it should be > addressed: > > - In Section 2, the sentence reads: > > "An overview > of the specific monitoring data defined in this document which MUST > be present follows. " > > I don't think it is correct to embed a normative word (MUST) in a > relative clause. I suggest to split the sentence into two: > > "This document defines an overview of the specific monitoring data. This > specific monitoring data MUST be always present in the data model, as > described in the following sections." I agree that the MUST is not correct here. We really just want to say that the section contains an overview of the data in the YANG module. So I suggest this paragraph instead: This section presents an overview of the monitoring data model. For detailed descriptions refer to the normative YANG module provided in this document (see section 5). /martin _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
