They have indeed. We'll fix these as well. I suppose we should thank you ;)
Sigfrid ________________________________________ Fra: kathleen.moria...@emc.com [kathleen.moria...@emc.com] Sendt: 26. oktober 2010 16:17 Til: gen-art@ietf.org Cc: laurent.rom...@inria.fr; Sigfrid Lundberg Emne: RE: Gen-ART review of draft-lundberg-app-tei-xml-06 Hello, It appears that the prior recommendations from the Gen-art REVIEW have been implemented in the current version of the draft, but I did just notice the following: Section 4 has a few acronyms that have not been spelled out earlier in the document - URI, IRI, and XML. Thanks, Kathleen -----Original Message----- From: Russ Housley [mailto:hous...@vigilsec.com] Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 1:29 PM To: Moriarty, Kathleen Subject: Re: Gen-ART review of draft-lundberg-app-tei-xml-03 Kathleen: Versio -06 has been posted. Please make sure you concerns were resolved and that no new ones were introduced. This is on the IESG telechat agenda for next week. Russ On 9/13/2010 2:40 PM, kathleen.moria...@emc.com wrote: > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, > please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may > receive. > > Document: draft-lundberg-app-tei-xml-03 > Reviewer: Kathleen M. Moriarty > Review Date: 13 September 2010 > IETF LC End Date: > IESG Telechat date: (if known) > > Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that > should be fixed before publication. > > The nits are included below that should be resolved. Additionally, the > document is light on descriptions prior to some sections, which may not be > necessary for those well-versed in this space (section 2). > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > > Nits/editorial comments: > > 1. TEI acronym should be included in the Introduction (which ever is > appropriate: > Text Encoding Initiative(TEI) or > Text Encoding Interchange (TEI)? > > 2. Section 5.2: The following sentence context shifts, so it may be better if > rewritten > "Some parts of > a document may be free, whereas other parts, such as editorial text > and annotations may be written much later may hence be subject to DRM > restrictions." > to: > Some parts of a document may be unrestricted, whereas other parts, such as > editorial text and annotations may be subject to DRM restrictions. The > editorial text and annotations may not be written at the same time as the > rest of the document. > > Since DRM may be copyrighted, have record retention requirements, or security > requirements, I would change 'free' to unrestricted. > > 3. Section 5.2: Consider changing the term "intellectual honesty" to > "intellectual property attribution" as I don't think it is a common term. > " Even when there are no IPR constraints, intellectual > honesty alone requires that document users are able to tell the > difference between content from different sources." > > 4. Section 5.3: The following sentence needs to be reworked a bit: > " Similarly, historical documents may in part their entirety be > confidential." > to: > "Similarly, historical documents may in part or in their entirety be > confidential." > > 5. Section 5.3: Since other conditions may be possible, I recommend changing > the following sentence: > " This may be required by law or by the terms and > conditions of a donation." > to: > "This may be required by law or by the terms and > conditions such as in the case of a donation." > > 6. Section 5.3: Change "need" to "needs" or insert a word like "MAY" or > change to "SHALL require" in the following sentence: > "A text archive need content filtering or > cryptographic technologies to meet such requirements." > > > > > > > > Kathleen M. Moriarty, CISSP | Practice Manager | Information Security and > Risk Management| EMC Consulting > > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > Gen-art@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art > _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
