Dear Meral,
many thanks for your review. Please see comments inline.
On 06.04.2016 21:38, Meral Shirazipour wrote:
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the
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Document: draft-ietf-p2psip-sip-17
Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour
Review Date: 2016-04-06
IETF LC End Date: 2016-04-06
IESG Telechat date: 2016-04-21
Summary:
This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I have
some comments.
Major issues:
Minor issues:
Nits/editorial comments:
-[Page 1] Abstract: some suggestions for clarity:
-After "(RELOAD)" it would be clearer to add [rfc6940].
This is a matter of style, I suppose: In the old school, we were told
not to place refs in an abstract ;) Reload is referenced in the first
sentence of the intro.
-"Uris"---->"URIs"
Thanks, fixed.
-"the AppAttach method"---->"the RELOAD AppAttach method"
Thanks, fixed.
I find the first paragraph of the Introduction more suitable for
abstract text.
The abstract should clarify which protocols are being extended here SIP,
RELOAD, both.
Actually, the first sentence of the abstract reads
"This document defines a SIP Usage for REsource LOcation And Discovery
(RELOAD)."
This is exactly what this document does: It extends RELOAD by a new
Usage (an application-specific extension in the language of RELOAD). It
does nothing to SIP and does not claim to do so.
-[Page 4], "ICE" to be spelled out at first use.
Thanks, fixed.
-[Page 7], "PDU" to be spelled out at first use.
-[Page 12], "either SIP scheme"--->"either SIP schemes"
Thanks, fixed.
-[Page 13], "Uris"---->"URIs"
Thanks, fixed.
-[Page 13], "gr URI"--->" "gr" URI "
Thanks, changed.
-[Page 18], ietf-p2psip-share ref to be updated to latest
Yes, will be automatic.
Thanks again, we will submit a sanitized version asap.
Best,
Thomas
--
Prof. Dr. Thomas C. Schmidt
° Hamburg University of Applied Sciences Berliner Tor 7 °
° Dept. Informatik, Internet Technologies Group 20099 Hamburg, Germany °
° http://www.haw-hamburg.de/inet Fon: +49-40-42875-8452 °
° http://www.informatik.haw-hamburg.de/~schmidt Fax: +49-40-42875-8409 °
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