Jean, Did your son have a chance to grieve for his pet? Perhaps he would feel better having a little memorial ceremony, a chance to reminisce about all the beloved aspects of his pet. It is natural for him to resent the remaining gerbils as being poor substitutes for his friend. Talk to him about how he can respect the memory of the dead gerbil by being nice to the gerbil's family members. Maybe you can draw a parallel between his favorite pet and the ones remaining, helping him to realize that like these gerbils, his favorite was once young and needed his help, too. Show him how he can remember his pet by taking good care of these little ones now that his gerbil isn't around to look after them, that they need him, and that while they do not have the same personalities or experiences as the one he bonded with, they have good things about them too, and deserve to be loved and taken care of by someone. Perhaps he would like to name the aquarium in the deceased gerbil's honor, or make some kind of artwork or write a story so the memory will live on.
When my first gerbil, Frisky, died, I was devasted. I was 9 years old, and although that was a long long time ago, I have been feeling very sad about her death again lately with the arrival of my new gerbils, who look a great deal like her. I gave her an elaborate funeral with a beautiful coffin I made myself, and had all the neighborhood kids come over to pay their respects. Even so, it took a long time to get over it. She was my first child, and I took little comfort in the presence of any other animals because we had bonded so closely. Being a writer, I wrote a long story about all the things I loved about her, and then I immersed myself in all the differences of other pets that I could leanr about and enjoy. Knowing other gerbils helped me to understand Frisky better - how she was special, and how she was the same as other gerbils, and even, what talents and redeeming qualities others possessed that she didn't. Since everyone on this list seems to relate to their pets on a personal level, and we all have grieved the loss of loved ones - be they pets or people - I think we all can relate to the pain your son is going through. Perhaps you can direct his feelings in a more positive direction, so that the remaining pets can benefit from such a loyal, loving, and consciencious friend/parent as your son. I'm sure they will love him in a way that is different, but equal to the intensity of the one he bonded with initially. Also, he may hate gerbils because he is afraid that they will die on him. You might want to address this fear also, and help him to understand that taking care of others, even if they are not around long, is a very good deed because it can make their lives as well as his own happier and richer for the experience. Good luck, Dana :) __________________________________________________ Move your email to a better address. Over 1,000 domains to choose from! FREE! PRIVATE! http://www.MailSpace.com
