I apologize for inadvertently posting the first chapter twice. Here
is Chapter 2.
THE MARRIAGE OF THE PETS (continuation)
President Pandurang was not very thrilled about meeting another
special interest couple who did not have money to buy a single plate
at a fund-raising dinner. He would rather play goddianim in the
backyard of his Dhovi Khopti. But his advisors told him that this was
a unique photo-opportunity, because he had never been photographed
with a transvestite bull and a photogenic goat before. He only had to
remember not to make an ass of himself, which by now had become a
familiar sight, especially when using his own words in speaking to
others.
Like King Solomon and the physicists, Pandurang liked simple answers
to complex questions. But unlike them, his need for simplicity was
dictated by the shallowness of his mind and the limitations of his
knowledge and vocabulary. If wisdom had anything to do with it, it was
invariably an afterthought ascribed to his babbling statements by his
promoters. He constantly discovered new words, and rapidly forgot
them, and often wondered why people thought they were cheap. All this
was perhaps because, as a cowherd there was very little that could be
considered to be within the scope of his field of expertise, and as a
simpleton, only simple thoughts could populate his mind. He had what
he called a list of priorities, and he was very proud that he could
say that word. In reality it was a cue card with a list of politically
expedient "either-or" dichotomies that encompassed the political
spectrum, prepared for him by a guy who was paid a hefty sum for each
word that he wrote.
At the top of this list was "a welfare recipient or a potential
donor", followed immediately by "a terrorist or a patriot", "an
evildoer or a conservative", "a minimum wage or a tax cut", "an
abortionist or a pro-lifer", "a feminist or a man of God", "a pervert
or a religious man", "an evolutionist or a believer", "an
environmentalist or a bar owner", etc. He was instructed by his
handlers that everything on the right side of the list was good and
right, and everything on the left side was bad and wrong. There is
good and bad, right and wrong and there is with us or with the
terrorists. These three basic dichotomies, he could not afford to
forget. He often said, having rehearsed it several times, that he was
a believer who had beliefs, and they were good beliefs, which he knew
were always right.
The photo-opportunity with the bull and the goat took place at the
President's weekend retreat in the chuttanchi khopti in the
Manshevoilem sheth. The President had been briefed on all the details
about the central material problem in the life of the ruminant couple.
He had not followed much of what he was told, but he had gone along
with it to avoid embarrassment. His advisors were already working on a
practical neoconservative copitalist solution. So the meeting with
President Pandurang was brief and mainly involved him posing before
the cameras, as if he was fully conversant with all the issues.
Pandurang began, stealing a quick glance at his list of priorities:
"Both you and your wife are good men. Your hearts are good. You are
right, not wrong. You are with us, not with the terrorists?".
"Yes Sir", the bull responded.
Pandurang continued:
"My people are working on your problem. We have to reform your
farewell ...... I mean welfare ... welfare recipient situation and
make you a potential donor. They will meet with you, Mr. Boil, in
private in a few days and give you our proposal. It will be a secret
meeting. Everything will be classified. We like to always meet with
one party, the one who believes in our beliefs. The one who is on our
side. The one who is not with the terrorists."
"But?", the goat tried to interject.
Ignoring her, Pandurang dragged on, becoming more and more pleased
with himself, with each new word that he could say unaided:
"We followed this uummm .... principle when we framed our energy
policy. We let the cameriam make their own bhorre by cutting down live
trees and drying the branches to solve our energy shortage. So we are
treating you the same. Mr. Boil, you are not a feminist. You are a
pro-lifer. You are not a terrorist. You are a man of God. You are a
religious man, not an evildoer. We don't want to smoke you out of a
cave. You are not building weapons of mass destruction. I know the
cross-dressing can be a problem. But it is a minor perversion. The
priests wear robes, any way, which makes it hard sometimes to know if
they are men or women. But like the priests, you are a believer. You
are a good man. I like this moral clarity. So Mr. Boil come back and
see us."
Faced with this halting but authoritative lecture from a man who had
ambled into the Dhovi Khopti while meandering through the fields of
Chimbel watching over grazing cows, the bull and the goat could do
nothing but nod in submissive assent.
Just before they were ushered out of the door, they heard the
President say:
"Have you received a tax cut? .... I don't think so. Well, if you
accept our proposal, we'll give you one. .....By the way, have you
consum.....consummated something this morning? ... Yeh Forsu! Give
them something to eat."
__________________________________ (continued)
Cheers,
Santosh
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-W-E-B---S-I-T-E-=-=-=
To Subscribe/Unsubscribe from GoaNet | http://www.goacom.com/goanet
===================================================================
For (un)subscribing or for help, Contact: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Dont want so many e=mails? Join GoaNet-Digest instead !
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Help support non-commercial projects in Goa by advertizing!!
* * * *
Your ad here !!
